So what's happened at work today? Well, They're currently "expanding" and the area where the 30 of use who work for the Water/Sewer Line Protection Progam branch of the Water Company are homeless. We live in a trailer outside of the main building, and it blows. It stinks too - 30 people in the ol' double wide castle is in violation of more health codes than I'd like to recognize.
Today, we actually overflowed however, and 4 of us got bumped into an empty corner back in the main building. So there we were, isolated from the world, and when I got to my new desk - I didn't even have my own chair, so that was the last straw - I send this mass email out:
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.
Ironically enough, my boss came over to check on us shortly there after, and we got moved again. To our own little pod (group of about 12 cubicals). Its quite nice. The catch is, it isn't really ours. So if the powers that be (meaning ANYONE ELSE in the company) decide they want to use this pod, we're back on the street again. Stupid Commies.
Anyways, That's about all for my first post. Here's what you can expect to see in the future: insightful stories, copies of the random crap that people send us (Last Friday, when opening mail, I guy had sent us back a clipping of one of our mailers. It was the part that said: "YES! I want protection and peace of mind. Enroll me in..." and he crossed out mind and wrote "ass".) Sadly thats one of the wittiest customers we've had. I dunno, I'll keep it entertaining, and if not, blast me in the comments. If its too long, Blast me in the comments. If I don't post enough... you get the idea.
Peace out!
8 comments:
Hey you,
Way too many words, not enough colorful illustrations. You have to start catering to my needs... and I don't read unless the sentences are no more than 5 words long and there are pretty pictures.
I want a peace of ass too.
Ro
P.S. You better keep up with this updating thing. Because I am running out of things to help me procrastinate :)
Ah...if only it weren't actually true that we work in a trailer outside of an office that has, and I'm no math expert here, THOUSANDS of square feet of available space to work in! Being one of the "fortunate" people left in the trailer, I can report that the smell in here is as pungent as it has ever been. Mix one part B.O. with two parts stale Taco Bell and Chinese Take-Out and you get an idea of what it's like. Ahhh...home sweet home. I was surprised when I stopped by the "main" building to see that there are more than 30 available spaces in there, yet we have to be out in the stinky-mobile? What's the basis? Back to getting paid to do nothing...
K-Bo
AWR, Inc. - Your source for peace of mind and ass since 1999!
Congratulations on your pod, Rob! I knew you could do it! Maybe one of these days you'll become important like me and actually get yourself a real live office! (you can dream can't you?)
Breyn
Yeah, your still your usual witty, sarcastic self, which never changes. I totally agree with Ro...you need more pictures of us lovely people in your life and some random things to keep us entertained since your making us entertain you at work! By the way LOVE the Office Space quote!! So keep up the good work of slacking and wasting time!!
Lots o Love your hot awesomely cool sister,
Jamie!!
Ro- Me write small for Ro. Me make sure Ro understand. Rob good, want Ro happy. Rob date Ro cause pretty. Not because smart. :)
Kim- Yeah, its amazing, we've got this entire back corner all to ourselves... PLENTY of room. I'm sorry you have to rot in that petri dish we call a work space. I miss you!
Breyn- Shutup
Jamie- Know what I like most about "Office Space"? Is that you finally gave it back to me. Oh wait, did I say "gave it back" I meant to say, "I drove up there and took it out of your apartment myself because you didn't return what you had borrowed." Wait, change "borrowed" to "stole"!
Alright, now that I've insulted most of my readers, I'll think about working on my next post. And I'll keep things short and sweet. And for our illustration-deprived viewers: I'm working on it, it'll take me a couple posts to figure out. Later!
It's starting to stink over here too. I think it's the mail. Maybe we should...I don't know... burn it. The plus, we wouldn't have to open it.
-Queen Bee, fellow Possum Pod dweller and evictee
P.S. Is your whole family awesome?
Man, it must be nice....if I tried to run a blog from work, the Network Nazis would be on me as soon as they took a break from searching for porn downloaders (supposedly they fire like five people a month for that - you'd think word would get around...but then again, I guess they're not all that smart to begin with).
Having known Rob for far longer than I care to admit, I can say yes, his whole family is awesome. On that note, Rob, when is your mom gonna post on here?
Mike
Hi son! Being overly creative at someone else’s expense..... You’re always thinking. The Blog.... I have to say that you got quite a reaction for animated female characters. In fact with only a stoke of a pen any of those cartoons could be male. I mean, you don't know that they are women. At the last social function our family attended we saw that it isn't always easy to determined male or female (now would be a good time for illustrations), unless it is pointed out to us. Not that I am judgmental, it is just that I noticed. So as far as Disney people go, there are real movies with real people to watch, may I suggest rentals… As many times as I have viewed all the films from Disney with my kids I have never noticed whether or not they were endowed........ I did enjoy reading the posts on here about it though, and Keith you would sleep with any of them? Standards boy! Love Mom
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