A new sandwich shop opened up today in Springfield - Head West. Its like a Jimmy Johns/Subway only tastes SO much better... oh yeah, and its ran by Hippies. This was something I was told before even going there by multiple people on seperate occasions, and I didn't take them very seriously. But sure enough, The Dead Bears and Widespread Panic Posters and the like plastered on the walls... two very skinny (read: vegitarian) girls in homemade clothes were working behind the counter. I made some small chat and found out that they were new to town which, after leaving, made me realize: They imported these hippies. Head West apparently has a stockpile of Hippies that it uses to staff its locations and I can only imagine how they're getting paid. This prompted another realization:
What if the government grew weed, and paid hippies in weed to do various tasks. What if they paid hippies to grow the weed as well in government green houses. Its like a self replicating currency... and Hippies will do ANYTHING for weed. No more hazzard pay for those jobs no one wants: Hippies will do it. No more having to work with Sewage and the like: Hippies don't bathe anyways. You want a housekeeper? Contract one from a government Hippie-Aid company, you pay the government a quarter what you normally would pay someone, and that will translate into top quality pot for the Hippy. Its a sure thing... almost as good as monkey butlers.
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Sounds like a nice little plan you got there but here's the flaws I see in it...Hippies are also known for their "free spirit, laid back attitude" so getting them to be reliable and actually show up for the job would be a task in itself.
"Well it would be because they would get the weed they desperately want" you say....Here's a few of the short term effects of weed..memory problems, difficulty with thinking and problem solving, loss of coordination, alter sense of time, and of course munchies.
So in other words..sure the plan might sound good but they might forget where they are supposed to go for work and when and what they are even supposed to be doing, your housekeeper might eat you out of house and home or end up breaking all your valuables due to their lack of coordination and perception.
I'd stick with the monkey idea...at least you could pay them in bananas and they won't get high from it.
Breyn
(I knew my degree was good for something!)
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