This is Crap!

So it's my first day off, right? You'd think I'd stay up late last night, sleep late this morning, lounge around and play video games, watch movies and eat junk food, right?? WRONG!!! I was really tired last night, so I didn't get to stay up as late as I would have liked too... it's best I start from the begining.

I had a few friends over this weekend for my "Rob Quit His Job" Party. Sure there was a lot of hanging out and eating, but the big thing we did was go to play Lazer Tag. Not only that but there was a Makoto setup, a Dance Dance Revolution Machine that I kicked Ro's ass on, and that boxing game where you have to hold the gloves and move around a lot. I ruled school the second game of lazer tag--we played 3 20 minute games. And I Rocked the Makoto Machine--by rocked I mean I hit like 78 of the 80 targets and I cracked the plastic plates that you strike. What can I say? I've got incredible Bo Staff Skills. And let me tell you something about the DDR Dancing game. If anyone wants to lose some weight - that's the way to do it. Frickin' exhausting. Anyways, after all that, I was quite sore last night, and exhausted from a long weekend.

So I didn't get to stay up until sunrise and party like a rock star for my first day of no work. Instead I was out by like 2:30 am (Sad, I know). And then I didn't get to really sleep in either. Stupid dog woke me up 'cause she wanted to go outside at like 11:30pm--so much for sleeping in. This whole unemployed thing is crap. I mean, I've done some laundry and cleaned up my room... I've offically done more work here today than I did all last week at AWR. AND I'm still sore! So I guess now I'm going to go eat some lunch/breakfast, take a shower, and start plowing through some Classifieds. By the way, I'm totally taking suggestions on what I should do for my next job. Think of this as an interactive reality show... or something, heck I don't know.

Good Night Sweet American Water Resources...

They say that everytime you lose an employee, a part of that company dies. Well, if that's the case, AWR is a freakin' leper; A Mute, Deaf, Blind, Quadriplegic and Developmentally Delayed Leper. With a turn over rate that is breaking land speed records, there's been a ridiculous amount of employees come and go... and there will be more in the future. Will I miss this place? Hell no. Will I miss a few select things... yes.

(Warning! Sappiness Ahead!!!)

I already miss checking the mail each day and reporting back to Rene the mail count. She'll complain NO MATTER what - Its either too much or too little (there was a magic number she looked for, but I don't remember what it was... like 638 or something.) Sucks I can't play flash games with Tim anymore... even if he did just play pingpong all damn day anyways. I'll miss Kim's cynical laugh that she quietly lets slip when she receives another hilarious and pointed email from Jen. Or just Kim/Jen's sense of humor in general... yeah, I'll miss that. I'll miss Melinda's (Freemama) OOooohhh's and full hearted laughter at any and all of my antics. It was like have my own sitcom laugh track at work.

(Ok, Done Now)

I invite any AWR Employee to share any favorite AWR memories, or Rob-Praises, or Blessings of Good Will (come to think of it, Blessings of Ill Will are also welcome). I've been trying to think of what would be a suitable "Last Day of Work" post, and I really don't think words can do justice. One thing I do owe AWR is the opportunity for me to create this website, and I think everyone can agree the world is a better place. So what if this company thrives on selling a mostly ineffiecent WaterLine Protection Plan to mostly REALLY old or REALLY stupid people who for the most part think the program is manditory... they allow the creation of this site, and for that, I salute you Amercian Water Resources!!!

Oh yeah, one more thing. Tim, Stay away from my girlfriend or I'll be all over you like a bulimic girl with her porcelain god.

A Priest and a Tsunami Survivor walk into a bar...

What? Too soon?
Well maybe someone should tell these jackasses at HOT 97 in NYC that. They just recently played a tsunami spoof song that included such jems as the following line: "I just saw her float by, a tree right through her head, and now your children will be sold to child slavery."

But that's alright, I mean there were millions donated to the relief effort (is that the right phrase? I mean, "relief" sounds inadequate.) Although anyone who's been to collegehumor lately may have seen this latest headline: Canadian Town wants its $10,000 donation back... for fireworks

Hey, I do my best to keep my readers current. Anyways, today is the first day without Rene. I had no one to complain about the mail with this morning. We've got 2 new people whom are supposed to be "trained." Problem is we don't have anything to do, and I'm not going to train people now just so they can be retrained when we actually get some work in. In the meantime, I'm folding mailers here at work... and reading PennyArcade Comics. Here's a favorite of mine. Only problem is, Ro plays as Talim and not Sophitia... coincidence that Talim is not only hot, but Filipino as well? You'll have to ask her.

Put Title Here

So last night Phil and I went on an adventure. Seeing as that I like to cook, that means I can sometimes need ingrediants other than Steak, Potatoes, Mac and Cheese, Salt and Pepper. This can tend to be a problem when you live in Jerseyville, IL. So Phil and I went into the big city and scouted out some WholeFood/EthnicFood stores. That stuff is a bit more pricey, but we'll see if it was worth it tonight. Got some Stalks of Lemon Grass, Assorted Spices, Some Belgium Cream Puffs, Various Rices (even some BLACK rice) and finally, some Sake. Funny thing is that I had to have Phil buy my alcohol for me. I had left my ID at ISU when I forgot to "checkout" from the dorms upon my leaving. That little 10 oz bottle of Sake (16% alcohol by volume) would have been only the second alcoholic purchase I had ever made (the first being a red wine for a chicken dish - I poured the remainder down the drain out of spite of anyone who may try drink it.) But I seriously digress... we're talking about the Food Stores.

Phil and I decided that these healthy/international food stores would be a great place to pick up chicks. With only one exception. For some reason we were constantly questioning the sexuality of the other customers. When two girls were shopping together, you can help but think that, maybe, they were gay (It should be noted that Phil and I were having this conversation while purusing the spice rack together.) It was a weird phenomon. I mean they gave no particular indication that they were gay, they were more likely two somewhat attractive college apartment-mates who are into healthy eating and the occasional experimentation... see? Harmless.

So not only are there some awesome, liberal, hot chicks to pick up at the foodstores. But chicks also dig guys who can cook. So that's your lesson for the day folks.

The Warzone

Ever walk the halls of your school, place of employment, or local art museum and think: You know what would be awesome here? Paint Ball! I know I do. If you ever think about it, it'd be a lot of fun, ducking in and out of cubicles, sniping from stairwells, whether or not its after hours or during the work day just depends on how much fun you really want to have.

The work place also makes for a great political warzone as well as a physical one. Playing the bosses to put yourself in the most opportune position possible. Playing Co-workers against each other for your own advantage/amusement. Appearances are everything in the office.

Well, Here's something that I want you all to check out. Call it my, Office Warzone Field Book. I want to see which one of these items I had already created with the intent to inflict bodily harm, and which one I have since reading this created and have in my desk right now. Rene, Melinda and anyone who already KNOWS the answer is ineligible. (I think next week I'm going to make an actual scoreboard for my website. Need new ways to keep things interesting.)

the SIMple life

So, as you may have noticed, no post on Friday. That's 'cause I wasn't here. I was in Springfield visiting Josh, and Sat/Sun I was in Bloomington with the girlfriend and my sister. I spoke with Tom Ryder about possible job opportunities, seeing as that he's a lawyer turned State Representative turned lobbist, he knows a lot of people. Actually, it's his job to know people. But anyways, he gave me some leads on some places to start looking for employment. And here's what I've decided. Real world sucks. And I'm not just talking about the stupid MTV show either, that's another rant altogether.

Seriously, I've got this stack of Newspaper Classifieds (Chicago, Springfield AND St. Louis). I want to just have to pick one of like 10 fields with an entry level position readily available. I want to be able to go to that job the next day, and when I want a promotion, I just have to be clean, rested and happy. By studying up on whatever carrer path I've chosen I should quickly climb the corporate ladder. Once I get that foot in the door I will just have to make a few friends in high places, work out a bit and maybe paint a picture and I'll be more or less at the top in no time at all. Occasionally looking at myself in the mirror for hours on end would be good for me too...

Now if you don't mind me, My bladder meter is quite full and my hunger is in the red as well.
Work Sucks.