(Warning! Sappiness Ahead!!!)
I already miss checking the mail each day and reporting back to Rene the mail count. She'll complain NO MATTER what - Its either too much or too little (there was a magic number she looked for, but I don't remember what it was... like 638 or something.) Sucks I can't play flash games with Tim anymore... even if he did just play pingpong all damn day anyways. I'll miss Kim's cynical laugh that she quietly lets slip when she receives another hilarious and pointed email from Jen. Or just Kim/Jen's sense of humor in general... yeah, I'll miss that. I'll miss Melinda's (Freemama) OOooohhh's and full hearted laughter at any and all of my antics. It was like have my own sitcom laugh track at work.
(Ok, Done Now)
I invite any AWR Employee to share any favorite AWR memories, or Rob-Praises, or Blessings of Good Will (come to think of it, Blessings of Ill Will are also welcome). I've been trying to think of what would be a suitable "Last Day of Work" post, and I really don't think words can do justice. One thing I do owe AWR is the opportunity for me to create this website, and I think everyone can agree the world is a better place. So what if this company thrives on selling a mostly ineffiecent WaterLine Protection Plan to mostly REALLY old or REALLY stupid people who for the most part think the program is manditory... they allow the creation of this site, and for that, I salute you Amercian Water Resources!!!
Oh yeah, one more thing. Tim, Stay away from my girlfriend or I'll be all over you like a bulimic girl with her porcelain god.
16 comments:
My first memory of Rob is when he first started here back in 2002. I remember he came in with approximately 6 other temps, because at AWR, they have to always bring in double the amount of temps that they need...but I digress.
I remember at the time we had several "problem" letters that needed to be folded and sent back to the customers. I was told to go tell the temps, who were all seated around a table in ANOTHER pod, because we couldn't all seem to be in the same pod at the same time, how to "properly" fold these letters and send them back. After about 4 minutes into my discussion about where to put the creases so that the address shows through the window envelope...Rob looks right at me and says, "Honestly, Kim, I haven't listened to one word that you've said just now."
I give him points for being honest, but it sure was hard to keep from poking him in his beady little eye then and there.
I remembered that story every time someone in management would come joyfully running out exclaiming to me that Rob was coming back, and they expected me to be as happy as they were about it. I'd think about his mustard-colored hair, and his little facial hair thingy under his lip, and his smugness, and then groan in dissatisfaction.
But, I was always the first to be happy when he came through the door. He literally lights up the place and brings life to the department. Rob has the talent of being able to hate his job and the people who work there, but make us all love and aspire to be him. If I believed in reincarnation, I would want to come back as Rob. He's less than a decade younger than me, yet he makes me feel like a geezer with all the energy he exudes.
Rob is smart. He knows that by warming up to all the chicks in the office, he can get away with it all. I will miss watching Rob sit and do nothing involving work whatsoever, and hear people in management laugh at his jokes, and think it's funny that he's drawing pictures or something non-work related, and just let him get away with it all because he's cute.
Let's face it, if Rob loses his cuteness, he's gonna have to start working a lot harder.
So...it comes down to these final hours of having him here. No more shall I come back from a day off to see sticky notes that say "I miss you" or will I have anyone to make certificates for. I doubt that anyone else taking Rob's place would show me their purple legs, or challenge me to a rock-paper-scissors contest. Very few people will actually come in and say "good-morning" or acknowledge my presence...but Rob always does.
I hope that if we here at AWR can no longer have him around, that the next attention will give him the credit he deserves.
Rob truly is the coolest. And I think that's a pretty swell compliment.
But, you will always remain a little pain in my ass....
I'LL MISS YOU!!!
~Kimmy (look, I signed my REAL name this time...just for you.)
What a tribute to Rob, my eyes got moist. I didn't think anyone else seen him as I do. I will tell all the AWR employees that Rob works with, he talks about all of you at home and I feel like I kinda know you. He will keep in touch as long as he gets a new job that allows unsupervised duties and he has a decent computer to post on. I have enjoyed reading all the post about AMR and I have laughed at most of them (scotts is alittle wordy). I do look forward to the new job post, in more ways than one.... parents you may know what I am talking about? Mom French
I'll try not to be too wordy. But Rob, it sounds like without you AWR will return to its full Initech-esq. state. And for that I truly feel for them.
- Scott
Rob, you were truly a source of great amusement for me, and subsequently those surrounding me. I'll miss you reporting to me the various ways you have avoided doing any real work, and hope to hear of future techniques. I will also miss you showing me all the interesting mail you get. And I'm sure you will miss opening said mail, getting the likely papercuts, and most of all, seeing Tim's ginormous head. Godspeed, ole boy.
Kim, in regards to Rock Paper Scissors...BRING IT!
Trevor
aka The Freak
Kim: Wow... Firstly: Wow. Secondly: Good Story! I had totally forgotten about that. Thirdly: That may be the first time I've ever seen you sign your real name. You have no idea how long it took me to figure out that you put the ~ on one side and Jen on the other... and then about that long again to figure out which one was which. Finally: You better keep up on the posting when I'm gone - I know where to find you.
PJ: Don't be jealous 'cause people love me.
Mom: Oh trust me, I'll find ays to post where ever I am. In the meantime however, look what you did. You went and hurt Scott's feelings.
Scott: Buck up you sissy.
Trevor: Words can't express how happy I am you got in one last Bigheadedtim crack before I left. Although I expect more in the future... Later!
Rob, I figured I'd slip in a few more links to feed your Google paranoia. You might as well give up trying to fight it thought. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Link 1Link 2Link 3All your base are belong to Google
Trevoogle
Hmm... What will I miss about Rob. Well I guess I would have to say that I will miss the online flash game competitions that we had. Although, I always seemed to win and it got a little boring for me. I will also miss Robs daily reporting of how little work he actually did for the day. I will miss seeing my enormous head posted on the net for all to see. This I must address to Trevor, Ive let this go for too long, if you say one more thing about my head I will come over there and crush your balls like little grapes. That is all for now. Good luck Rob! Hope you find a job soon.
Tim
Alright Trevor...
with that I respond with this:
If you don't like Gmail and it's "policies" don't F'in use it! Seems simple enough to me. Secondly with response to your link, www.google-watch.org, I present:
http://www.google-watch-watch.org/
Screw you Google-Haters!
I would just like to add that in the time that I have sat next to Rob, he basically DOES NOT DO S____! Okay pardon my french get it,Oooh I crack myself up. Anyway Rob your years have brought me a many smile, you are always in a great mood and I like the way you think sometimes. Thanks for introducing me to sick comc jokes, I will always cherish the strip that you gave me. I have some advice for you, Get a job as a teacher, our children need an adventurous people. Take care and I hope that you don't end up on unemployment for life, I hate you for quitting , Good luck singing out Tina AKA DESTIN FOR SUPERSTARDOM, DONT HATE!!!!!!!!!
Tim, Crushing my nuts like grapes requires 2 things. One, you have to catch me, and with that big head, well, you may just be too top-heavy to match my balance, thus allowing me quick getaway. 2nd, if by chance you catch me off guard, it would then require you actually touch my nuts with some part of your body to crush them, and I don't think you swing that way. I know I don't....not that there's anything wrong with that...
Trevor
Tina, you are SO welcome for everything I've done for you. I like being able to bring you a step closer to the dark side.
Tim, Congrats on finally responding to Trevor. I think it was wonderfully executed.
Trevor, Tim's gonna be a cop. He's going to have a gun, a nightstick, the authority to write tickets, and lets not forget the actual cop car. Even if he has a slow start and begins as a rentacop he still gets a big Maglight Flashlight. In anycase, he's got a range of potential weaponry at his disposal. That's why I would let him win in most of the flash games online.
Ah Rob, I was just pandering to the masses. Which is rare so you should have enjoyed it more. But I will say that all these posts make me almost wish I had worked there with you or maybe visited a day just to see you in action. Or out of action as it sounds like was usually the case.
I'll have to make a cameo at your next place of employment, just show up someday out of the blue. I think that'd be pretty awesome. I could pretend to be a courrier and deliver porn to you or something. Maybe one of those implements of office destruction. That's the ticket...
Anyway I'd just like to add my voice to the chorus of Good Luck-ing, and I think you'll do just fine. And if not you can join me and Tim in Chicago and go to those improv/comedy writing classes.
- Scott
Yes! Freemama will miss Rob lets face it I've known him for over two years seems longer that. My most memorable moments that I will miss Rob is of course listing to all his swing music cds watching him swing dance in the mailroom (he's very entertaining ) some times I will join in swing dancing. On I go, listeing to some of my favorite songs on the cds he made for me like Chicago, M. Jackson (Thriller), B. V. Jovi both of us singing along with William Hung's Christmas songs (Rudolph). All of his since of humor showing me all of those funny sites on the internet like that Drunkin Jedi and the comic strips, showing off his Bruce Lee moves some of that has rubbed off on me. Talking about our favorite program Smallvile, having our matchups, making fun of those articles that come in the mail, naming as many movies, songs or people as we can from A to Z most of all I will miss him shooting at the picture of the drunkin Jedi with rubber bands and me hurting his ears when I put Barry Manilow cd in. Rob's favorite songs from that cd are Mandy, Bandstand Boogie, looks like we made it and I wright the songs. So, we all know what to get Rob for Christmas or his birthday. The WLPP department will not be the same with out him Rob always made himself useful around the place I told him he was good for something. Now I must leave everyone my tears are so heavy coming out of my eyes that tissue isn't helping I have to put cups up where my eyes are to catch all that water. One thing I will remember from that movie called Office Space Rob told me to look at is ("Human beings aren't made to sit in a cubicle and stare at the computer all day")
Freemama Vs the Rubber Chicken vs the Pink Flamingo
Rob,
Are you sure you want to leave AWR? It seems to me that if you keep doing quirky Rob-esque things (i.e., nothing at all), you'll own the place in a few years...
I do feel bad about not having the opportunity to miss you, though. I'm sorry I was never your co-worker.
Maybe give some thought to that teaching idea, because I'd love to see what you'd do to some poor group of first graders who don't know any better. The world would be a more interesting place. Here's another idea: go back to school! The powers that be don't make you pay on your loans, and you can put off joining the real world for another few years. It's hella cool.
Lisa
PS (for Tim) - I was reading old comments today and noticed you mentioned holding as many places as possible in the choose your own adventure books. I did it, too.
PPS (for Josh) - One of my students this semester looks just like you did back in high school. Weird.
How will I miss Rob? Let me count the ways...
1. I will miss the frustration of working my ass off, only to walk by your computer & see you surfing the net, with your feet up on your desk.
2. I will miss hearing Kim bitch about how badly you screwed up your close out forms.
3. I will miss being threatened with rubber bands, however insincere the threat really was (and, NO Trevor, that was not an invitation for you to start shooting MORE rubber bands over my cubicle wall).
4. I will miss having you blatantly eavesdrop on any and all lunch-coordinating activities, only to return to my desk to find an email from you saying "did someone say something about lunch?"
5. I will miss being referred to as Kim/Jen, or Jen/Kim.
6. I will miss the way you make Melinda laugh...now, we'll have to listen to her sobs of mourning in your absence. But, I will never forgive you for "willing" to her, the violated rubber chicken.
7. I will miss the way you've been trying to get hints out of me, about my possible "career change".
8. Last, but not least, I will miss the Nutella. Not.
Good luck in the real world, Rob. We'll see you next summer...we'll keep your cubicle warm.
Jen~ (the one with the ~ on the right side)
Jen, I don't need an invitation...just ask erin. MWAHAHA.
Trevor
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