Story about Bob

Once there was a kid named Bob. He grew up and his first computer of memory was a Commodore 64. His parents got him this computer when he was VERY young and he pretty much learned everything from it.... how to count money for example (thanks Grovers Playground). He learned all about computers at this young age and is very thankful for it. He also learned something else. Something he didn't really put his finger on until just recently. Poor Bob learned about piracy. Not the cool* kind where you sail around and have parrots, but the kind where you STEAL SOFTWARE. Bob remembered a little black screen that would always load on his favorite games as a kid that said "Cracked by |insert name here|"

Now Bob is all grown up and he still doesn't pay for his software or games. He always finds a crack. He doesn't even think about paying for music or his movies, he just finds way to get them for free. Bob is a bad, bad person. Its almost like it was ingrained in him from birth.... BECAUSE IT WAS!!!



Its a good thing I'm not Bob. I mean, I buy the special editions of all the movies I really like. And my last big PC title was store bought (because it was online and it had to be). Also, one final thing: I'm checking out Open Office. That's a FREE Microsoft Office clone. My favorite part so far was in the registration survey as a check mark for "Why did you download Open Office?" the two options I could check was "Because its right in my price range (Free)." and "Because it's not Microsoft." HA! Screw you Mircosoft.

Big City: -1

So I finally called to set up my first "Rob's on his own" Dental appointment. See, you can do things like this when you have full medical/dental. My coverage starts April 1st so I wanted to see about when the first available appointment was. The nice lady on the phone (who by the way shares my birthdate), asked if I had a particular day in mind, and I was like: "Sure! Next Tuesday works great for me." She pretty much laughed at me. She said she could squeeze me in at 8:00 am on MAY 2nd. This may be common for dentists all over, but right now I'm blaming Springfield. I guess I should set up that Doctors appointment next... *sigh*

Rob's way to keep people on thier toes #1: Barter. And do it at obviously unbarterable locations. Next time you're in the grocery store, and they say: "Your total is $78.39" Look 'em square in the eye and say, "How about $75."

If it makes you feel any better...

You know how when someone's haveing a crappy day or something crappy happened to them, someone else will inevitabily come up and say: "Well if it makes you feel any better [insert personal crappy experience here]." Why do we do that? That never actually makes you feel better. I think its just a nice of of telling someone to stop whining because they're not the only one with problems here.

Rob's Dating Tip of the Day: Barnes and Noble is a great place to pick up chicks. You can seem intelligent and you can already have something in common. You can instantly find common interests just by seeing what section your standing in front of. Also, there are pre-set levels of difficulty: Stay away from the ones hanging out in "Women's Issues," and the ones in the self-help section is a good place for beginers (I mean they obviously already have some self esteem issues.)

The Missing Cali Pics

Jamie and Scott chillin' with Ronald

Everytime Ro sees a child I have to always remind her: "No Ro. No Babies for you." Sometimes I worry that she's going to take one home with her... like in her backpack.





Just an example of typical Cali Scenery.





If Ro gets to be a ballerina on the beach, I get to be a ninja.





We were actually there first, they built the statue inspired by us.





Can't have a photo collection of Cali without the closing sunset pic.

My new phrase

I've already submitted it to Urban Dictionary, this will be my second entry there. Some people are probably going to say that my new entry is "gross" but hey its a fact of life and you just have to accept it. We'll have to see if the editors accept my new entry, but I think they will.

Ahem...

Blowing Christmas: A term for when you are really sick, particularly when a sinus infection is involved; refers to the expulsion of holiday themed mucus from your nose.

Yeah, so know you know what I mean when I say I've been blowing christmas since about Wednesday. Definitely not the most fun part of vacation. I finally got an anti-biotic and I should start getting better soon. The sore throat, James Earl Jones voice and ear aches suck as well. At least my ears finally started to pop and clear up yesterday. If any of you ever get the idea to fly while sick, don't. reschedule. Your head doesn't readjust to the air pressure on your decent and it makes your ears and eye feel like they're going to pop. Its awlful.

There's no place like home.

But that's because I have a job and apartment already established here. If it wasn't for that, all personal entaglements aside, then I guess there are a lot of places like home. Take New Orleans for example, or Iraq. Maybe a slight exaggeration, but come on! I have to take a 15 block detour just so I can get to Shop n Save (which is ONE block over). This is ridiculous. Know what else is ridiculous? Corporate has decided that our Best Buy location needs to be open by Saturday. Ummm, we have a slight* water damage/roof leak situation that needs to be addressed. Also the winds managed to shift one of our walls to the point that an i-beam moved 3 inches and the wall cracked. But hey, we're going to be open on Saturday. They are going to have employees working 7 am - 10 pm until everything is fixed.

It was interesting being in San Diego and seeing the entrance to your apartment complex on the 7 o'clock news. So it wasn't exactly my entrance, but it was my turn off from the main road on to my street. My apartment is fine, I was a bit worried... Especially since I just bought a new TV. Anyone have any suggestion for Renter's Insurance in the Springfield area? I'm in the market.

Feel free to ask about Cali or Springfield or anything. I just decided to not try and tackle everything at once because it was just too much. Also I'm sick, and that's not fun at all.

Fun Thing to Do #1:
Go to Blockbuster (or other video store) and replace all of the "staff recommendations" with low budget flicks and Porn.

* By slight, we had to get rid of all of our laptops on display, all but 5 of our desktops... They're talking about scraping like half of our CDs. By "slight" I mean "intensive."

Sittin' on the dock of the bay...

So actually I'm sitting in the drivers seat of a 2006 Poniac Grand Am, but the ocean is in front of us. I just busted out Lappy to get you guys some pictures. No witty captions, but some quality photos:

California sun has sunk...

So here we are in Cali... bonus points to whomever can tell me where that title is from WITHOUT googling. I really wanted to get some pictures up and going for you guys, but we seem to be having issues with that at the moment. I was under the impression that California was just free Wireless Internet everywhere - but I gave it a little too much credit. I'll take Lappy along with us tomorrow and check for access every now and again.

But right now there are actually bigger things going on than California. I've always said "This place will fall apart without me." No one ever took me seriously, well I hope they do now. We happened to flip on the television tonight and what do we see?? Springfield IL on the San Diego local news. Apparently those news reports are exaggerating. My apartment is fine, but others in my complex have holes in them. Best Buy was torn up really bad... REALLY BAD from the sounds of it. Merchandise ruined. Ceiling gone. We aren't expecting customers for a couple weeks. Aparently when I get back they will be pulling in employees for disaster clean up. There could be irony here except for the fact that I haven't been able to check on some fellow Springfield people yet to see their status. (My cell phone is jacked up)

Anyways, I'll try and get you pictures tomorrow - but no promises. I need to find free wireless internet. My face is a little pink today from the sun (Phil and Scott are straight up burnt). Its a rough life out here in California. Peace, I'm out.

Type G Personalities

So I haven't really told you about my work experiences in a while... maybe because I changed the name from "Rob's Office Space" to "Rob's Space 2.0" and I just lost the working theme altogether. I thought I'd share with you some of my views on customers at Best Buy.

Bst Buy stereotypes its customers into a few bit size classes so that employees can make snap stereotypical judgements and adjust accordingly. For example, I'm "Buzz" (a late teen, early twenty-something that is tech savvy and wants the cool stuff.) There's also a "Ray and Mrs Ray." Mr Ray wants the new TV, but in the end, Mrs Ray holds the checkbook and if she's bored, they're both leaving. There's others... like the guy that wants the most expensive thing out there and doesn't want a service plan because "That's why he's paying good money for a quality product." There are other official names, but I forgot/don't care.

Here's the customers I see more often:

• Stinky Sam: Can be male/female/indeterminate. Smells either like Body Odor, Butt, or McDonalds. Speaks slowly, and you have to do the same. Hold your breath whenever possible and gesture/turn towards the computer (and away from Sam) to catch a fresh breath.

• Amish Alex: Male/Female. Doesn't know anything about computers and wants to spend about $100. Gets pissed that Anti-Virus software doesn't come with the computer. Calls the computer a "Modem"(the tower) and "TV" (monitor).

• Mr Chris McCool: Almost always male. Thinks they know what they are talking about and uses entirely too many buzzwords. Seems put off that we don't sell individual processors and neon lights to trick out your computer. The second Chris talks down to me I mentally punch him in the throat and then actually tell him that he can go across the street to Computer Deli.

• Linux Larry. Similar to Chris but likes to mention repeatedly that he uses Linux and is exceptionally put off that our wireless cards don't say if they support it. Larry I kick in the knee caps, then kick again when on the ground screaming "You're using Linux, of course nothing is compatable!" Seriously, if Larry or Chris knew half as much as they pretended to know they would be shopping at NewEgg.com or ZipZoomFly anyways.

• Customer o' the Week: This is the one that reminds me of my cousin Kit or Mom's friends. Reguardless of how much they understand, it doesn't matter because they're good humored about it and is a pleasure to help out. Recognizes that computers are complicated and don't get mad at me when they don't understand. Sad I only get about one of these a week.

• Regular Ron: Seriously, this guy is here a few times a week... definately needs to get out more. Does he go to Circuit City all the time too? I like to think he's a die-hard Best Buy fan and gets in fistfights with other nerds about which is better.

• Early Eddie: This people are waiting in the parking lot before we open on a Wednesday... WHY?!?!?!?! GET A JOB!!!

The Longest Test of My Life

Seriously... I kid you not... Five hours.

From 6pm till 11pm I was taking my Political Parties and Interest Groups Midterm. I wrote at least 12 pages, I really didn't count however.

• 25 Multiple Choice.
• 4 short answer.
• 1 Essay.

Doesn't sound that bad, does it? Wait, let me define "short answer." Lets start with a 4-5 paragraph minimum. Sounds pretty much like an "essay" to me doesn't it? No. The essay was like 8 pages. Here was my Essay Question:

Regarding party and interest group involvement in campaigns, summarize the Manship techniques of modern campaigns, compare and contrast the classic positive and negative themes found in televised campaign advertising , and examine why candidates go negative, showing the pertinent guidelines for doing so.

I wanted to cry when it was all over. I did actually. Then I went grocery shopping. I bought my first starfruit. I also got 2 minneolas. That's what I do when I feel like a test has litterally shattered my soul. I buy exotic fruit.

And for those of you who love REALLY bad local commericals...

A big weekend

On Wednesday I was a 24 year old college student.
On Thursday I was a 25 year old lobbyist.
On Friday I became an Illinois Senator...

I debated bills in the Capital building.
I wore a suit... and looked damn good.
I sat in the big chair and pressed the buttons.
I was even on the big screens and spoke into a microphone.

25 is a milestone age...

• 10 is the first time you hit double digits
• 16 you can drive
• 18 you can die for your country
• 21 you can legally kill your liver
• 25 is a quarter century and you get cheaper insurance

I guess the next big one I have to look forward to now is 36... where you can date someone half your age without getting arrested (that one's for you Tim).

I'm studying for a final tonight, whether or not I'm sleeping tonight is debatable. My girlfriend is the best ever, that is not debatable.

YouTube

Its my birthday, and I'm going to give you one more popular website... YouTube. Think of it as a TV Network of home video clips. There's something for everyone:

Scott: Your favorite show ever... who was it that was never defeated?
Josh: This is the sort of thing we should be glad we never got into as kids, we would have hurt ourselves.
Tim: Emo... guh...
Ro: No, you can't have one.
Mom: Don't worry, you can't be replaced. But sometimes an outside source can be helpful.

Cow Abduction and Drug Tests

"We have people on the look out for what we call Cow Terrorism."

Ever think anyone gets excited at the prospect of a drug test but then is super disappointed when they get there because they thought it was a sort of drug taste test and now they don't get any free samples. I wonder about that sometimes.

Finally, I know you're always wanting timewasters from me. Here's a quirky/funny/cute site for you to enjoy. check out the animations.