Red Tape

UIS makes Vogon's appear easy to deal with when it comes to paperwork. And "they wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters." By the way, You really should read (or watch I guess) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

So apparently on my online application I mistook a question about being a resident for "living on campus" when in fact it meant "of Illinois." Either that or I simply checked the wrong box (the people at UIS say that it happens frequently). But listen to this B.S.

I have to fill out a petition for residency for UIS now because they're trying to charge me Out of State Tutition. Shouldn't be a problem right? I can see that I might have to do more than a phone call, maybe meet with someone and sign something... but that's NO WHERE CLOSE to the crap they're trying to make me do. Aside from filling out the 5 page "Petition," I have to provide copies of:

• Driver's License
• Illinois Voter Registration Card
• State Income Tax Returns
• Federal Income Tax Returns
• Paystubs for this Years Employment
• Paystubs for LAST years Employment
• My left arm

Alright so not the arm bit, and it wasn't even a funny joke... but I'm just REALLY FRUSTRATED AT THEM RIGHT NOW!!! Honestly, how is it that all I have to do is check a box the first time, but then they need all of that crap to correct it. Moreover, I don't know if I still have some of that stuff (I don't recall ever seeing a voter registration card) and any of it that I might still have, it's going to be in Jerseyville anyways. So Thanks mom for looking for some of that nonsense. How the crap is it so difficult for them to accept that I've lived in this state for my entire life. If I was king of the universe, who ever made that decision would be fired...

from a cannon...

into a brick wall...

with spikes on it...

from 2 feet away...

then burned "alive."


Damn you UIS.

In the News...

Dude, Why you should you get a Dell? Apparently Dell has decided that open forums where people can ask technical support for their Dell products leads to too much Bad Publicity. That's why you should buy your computer from Best Buy. (I got $5 for typing that)

Wexford PA was ranked 28th Best Place to Live, by Money Magazine. Why should you care about Wexford? Well, I guess you shouldn't. I mean, chances are you won't be in PA anytime soon. And in the case you do go that way, the town DOESN'T EXIST anyways!!

My girlfriend is still a princess, and I miss her.

Princess mentioned above has a beautiful figure, and I would never speak poorly of her butt or any other part. (Gotta watch your back these days)

Finally, if you think that even our right wingers today are too far to the left do we have a group for you: The Christian Exodus is planning on getting as many people to relocate as possible to South Carolina so they can then break away from the corrupt US. And here I thought Texas would be the first to leave.

The Job Lowdown

I've picked up something at "The Buy" that I don't recall having noticed at most of my other places of employment. Its strange but people don't seem to hate working there. Moreover, they don't seem to hate their overseers (at least in my department, I'm not sure how far it spreads past that.) Actually everyone there seems to be a huge fan of the "discount" that we get moreso than any displeasure of the job (aside from Sunday Morning Meetings). We pay wholesale prices on things, Computer packages, iPods and Cell Phones we don't hardly get a penny discounted to speak of. But I can get a $4,000 TV or a $1,500 Home Theatre System for half price. Or a $110 piece of computer software for $9. It all depends.

I don't make commission, I wouldn't work there if that's how it worked, but they do encourage us to sell extra services. My only difficulty is that they're services I myself would never pay money for, but then again, I'm a bit more computer literate than most of my customers. I haven't decided if its really not in the customers best interest or not, reguardless of the obvious profit for the company. The other great thing about it is that they don't keep records of who sells what, so it doesn't seem to matter either way. I've made my peace with instead of trying to get as much money as possible out of the customers, I'm guarnteeing repeat business. I answer everyone's questions as well as I can and try and help them in any way possible. I frequently have people write down my name and say they're going to ask for me when they come back, despite my explainations that they can talk to anyone and we don't make any commission.

All in all, working for The Buy hasn't been bad so far. I like most of my co-workers and like helping people who don't understand technology. I imagine that when my job at Bunn fades away, I'll just go to classes and rely on Best Buy for my cash. The fireworks place did offer me extra hours as well in the fall. So until I find something signifigantly better (possibly a hook-up I can make through grad school) I think I'll be doing just fine in here the Field of Springs.

Nothing like a nice cool bottle of Hater-ade...

It seems like too long since I've hated on anything. Sure I hated on Scott just a few days ago, but that's an ongoing, burning hatred that I hardly account for anything anymore. So I thought I'd do a quickie to bring you up to date.

Still Hate Paris Hilton

That's right, she wants to be married in Westminster Abbey. Let me tell you, I've been there and it's amazing. You could stack your house on top of itself 2 or 3 times and it would take up a small part of a corner of a small wing that massive church. And Paris's justification is that she believes she is "close enough" to royalty, that she should be allowed to use the church. I highly recommend you reading this short blurb about it, the author is more cynical than even I am.

The Reason for the Foul Mood Today

Walking back into the building from lunch today I passed a car. This car was a brand new silver mustang convertible that was "parked" right outside the front door. I used the word parked very loosely. It was hastily pulled up and lay diagonally across 3 parking spaces next to the door. I can't imagine the mindset of such a man (I pray it was a man, I don't want to imagine a woman with that much pretentious conceit). But I have been working really hard to will something bad to happen to him. I didn't see him, but I'm focusing all my available energy into seeing that karma takes over and he falls face first into a mudpuddle. So if you don't mind, I'd ask all my readers to join me in this. Just focus on the middle-aged man with dark hair (dyed to keep the gray out) and oakleys, driving a silver mustang and let your imagination run wild. If it runs particularly wild, feel free to share your experience with the group.

Shorties

Best Buy
Had a man and woman in yesterday and the female was looking at purchasing a new computer. They were an infuriating couple, completely computer illiterate, which isn't bad in itself, but when coupled with the fact they believed quite the opposite and LOVED to argue. The guy still believed his $3000 dollar computer he bought 3 years ago was still top of the line, and nearly refused to believe that anything we could sell at "Best Buy" (say it scornfully) would possibly match what he Personalized at "Dell" (say it with choir of angels singing praises). And they both argued, not only with me, but with eachother. See, they were in the final stages of their divorce and she was using part of the money she was taking from him to buy her new computer. That... was awesome.

Bunn
Had a lady send a check for $51.94. Then she sent another letter saying that she was told the bill was only $51.64 and proceded to tape 3 dimes to the second letter. By my count that puts her .60 over and have wasted more than that in both parties postage. That made me tear up abit because it was so much like AWR.

Point to Ponder
Novelty T-shirts and Hats are a tricksome lot. You buy a hat with a witty picture or text because you find it funny, however because it's on your head, you never get to see it yourself. I've decided next time I see a hat I like, I'm giving it to Scott.

Cool Idea
I think they should ban blackboards in the classrooms and replace them instead with giant Lite-Brite's.

Ladies and Gentlement: Phil

So my friend Phil has decided to join in on the blogging fun here at my blog. So I think I should formally introduce you all. Phil is a tricksome character and like Shrek, he has many layers. In our group of highschool friends, Phil was always the tough guy. He'd tell you about some fight or something at the Alton blockparty last night, but would neglect to tell you is that he went to the Jerseyville movie theatre the day before to see (insert lastest animated movie here) alone the night before. And he didn't go alone because he didn't have anyfriends. That's the other quirky thing about Phil, he knows people EVERYWHERE we go. The only logical assumption I can make is that Phil doesn't sleep. We would hang out a signifigant amount of time, so I don't know when he has time to meet all these other people. Plus he works two jobs (the night shift at UPS and a bartender at the local J-Ville Resturant. But anyways...

• Phil loves The Lost Boys
• Phil hates Denny's
• Phil loves Dawson's Creek
• Phil hates Technology
• Phil loves Going to the Gambling Boat
• Phil hates Going to the Gambling Boat (he loses a lot)
• Phil's Favorite books are the Harry Potter and Lemony Snicket Series
• Last I heard he had just finished The Old Man and the Sea.
• Phil's my climbing/bouldering buddy

Sometimes Phil and I have been known to hold hands in public if we think it'll make others around us feel uncomfortable. This mainly stems from the fact that we'd go on so many "dates" to the movies together and he would always buy me a soda and share popcorn because he "wasn't going to eat alone." Also we really care less what people we don't know think, and actually enjoy making such people uncomfortable. Here's a collage of adventures with Phil: