Bst Buy stereotypes its customers into a few bit size classes so that employees can make snap stereotypical judgements and adjust accordingly. For example, I'm "Buzz" (a late teen, early twenty-something that is tech savvy and wants the cool stuff.) There's also a "Ray and Mrs Ray." Mr Ray wants the new TV, but in the end, Mrs Ray holds the checkbook and if she's bored, they're both leaving. There's others... like the guy that wants the most expensive thing out there and doesn't want a service plan because "That's why he's paying good money for a quality product." There are other official names, but I forgot/don't care.
Here's the customers I see more often:
- Stinky Sam: Can be male/female/indeterminate. Smells either like Body Odor, Butt, or McDonalds. Speaks slowly, and you have to do the same. Hold your breath whenever possible and gesture/turn towards the computer (and away from Sam) to catch a fresh breath.
- Amish Alex: Male/Female. Doesn't know anything about computers and wants to spend about $100. Gets pissed that Anti-Virus software doesn't come with the computer. Calls the computer a "Modem"(the tower) and "TV" (monitor).
- Mr Chris McCool: Almost always male. Thinks they know what they are talking about and uses entirely too many buzzwords. Seems put off that we don't sell individual processors and neon lights to trick out your computer. The second Chris talks down to me I mentally punch him in the throat and then actually tell him that he can go across the street to Computer Deli.
- Linux Larry. Similar to Chris but likes to mention repeatedly that he uses Linux and is exceptionally put off that our wireless cards don't say if they support it. Larry I kick in the knee caps, then kick again when on the ground screaming "You're using Linux, of course nothing is compatable!" Seriously, if Larry or Chris knew half as much as they pretended to know they would be shopping at NewEgg.com or ZipZoomFly anyways.
- Customer o' the Week: This is the one that reminds me of my cousin Kit or Mom's friends. Reguardless of how much they understand, it doesn't matter because they're good humored about it and is a pleasure to help out. Recognizes that computers are complicated and don't get mad at me when they don't understand. Sad I only get about one of these a week.
- Regular Ron: Seriously, this guy is here a few times a week... definately needs to get out more. Does he go to Circuit City all the time too? I like to think he's a die-hard Best Buy fan and gets in fistfights with other nerds about which is better.
- Early Eddie: This people are waiting in the parking lot before we open on a Wednesday... WHY?!?!?!?! GET A JOB!!!
5 comments:
Sounds like a wonderful place to work.
Ok so I know you like cute videos and what not...someone posted this on a discussion board I'm on and it is WAY TOO CUTE!!!
I was totally laughing this morning....you gotta check it out!
http://www.break.com/index/verycutebabies.html
Breyn
Well, in media we have anime fans, and by saying that I'm not stereotyping ALL anime fans, nor am I trying to offend anyone who enjoys anime because I myself watch it sometimes. But we have a select group of individuals that thinks Best Buy is their little anime playground (I honestly believe they care more about that section than I do). These people will ask for anything from TENTACLE RAPING (yes, believe me, the look you just got on your face was the exact same one I had) to a title who's name looks like they took the name in Japanese, threw in a few extra lines and dots, and called it English, so needless to say they can't spell it, I have to make it look like I might know how to spell it but, tragically, like every other tuesday, it's not their day and I have to deal with the "you lit my dog on fire" look for about 2 minutes, which does not help ANYTHING AT ALL, followed by a quick turn and a slow mope out the door.
Penny pushing Paula... Paula is a tight wad, and has all the money that it takes to get exactly what she needs, but strives to save every singel cent by cutting every corner there is possible. paula has to over-understand the benifets of absolutly everything she buys, or it's not a value to her at all because it means spending more and more money. Paula always asks about the return policy and trys to see if you can make her a special excption so she can try it for longer and make sure its what she wants.
car audio chris McCool.... chris thinks that his system is mad tight hotness, and he loves to boast about it. His ride is always hammerin' anytime McCool is on the scene. "man yall aint got no fi-teens??, that sh*t is wak." is his favorite quote, and during your time with Chris, he WILL be on the phone talking a bit too loud as to show off to all the unfortunite ppl that don't already know just how COOL McCool is.
the out of town Ozgoods... the ozgoods are a cute family that drove to best buy to get a computer or a car stereo. they drove all the way from quincy or hillsboro or lichfield, and they assume that since they are from out of twon and are not responsible enough to make an appointment, that we can just work on their car at the drop of a hat because they drove so far. they also think that threatining to not buy or shopping at circut city can cause a spot to magically appear. they also like to try and find loop holes in the fine print of the adds and signs to blackmale best buy employees into giving them a good deal or a break on somthing.
Crankey craig.... craig is a moron. he has baught somthing at best buy and has either broken it being a moron or it has naturally worn itself out. Craig automatally thinks that since he baught it at best buy less than ten years ago, that he can just exchange it with a new one. "after all, you guys stand behind your products right?" and your right craig, we will be more than happy to garentee that fine product agains NORMAL ware and tare for up to four years, but if you don't buy it.... thats your fault;) craig automatically blames the first sales associate that he comes in contact with and allways thinks that threating to call a manager is intimidating... I just went out to lunch with this manager craig, but nice effort.
sexist steven, steven woud rather have his manparts removed from him with a chainsaw than ask a female for assistance. I don't know about you, but I was shocked to find out that having a vagina means that you are leagally not aoud to have ANY product knolege of electronics what so ever. steve will wait a half hour for a male to be free, even if its a total moron. Steve is usually pretty dumb though, so u can usually b.s. him into thinking that buying a certin product will get him laid, and he will buy it in every color.
Everyone from Rob's Space, meet "Media Rob" and "B.O.B." from Best Buy. Guys, meet my loyal following...
Last Minute Manny -- Needs a battery for his camcorder. Yesterday. It's seven and a half years old. It's a Sony. And he bought from us guys. Also, doesn't understand why we don't carry batteries for the cameras we sell.
Confimation Connie -- Just waiting for you to say you don't have something or won't do something because the company we work for is giant, moronic and evil. Will complain about the sealing bags if necessary.
There's also a subclass of retail ninjas. Ray, Barry, McCool can all be one. Will hide their coupons until the last possible moment (up to and including a post-void) and whip them out like "Suprise! I got coupons! PWNED!"
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