Best Buy Stories

Got two of 'em for you today:

1. A man called and was asking about personal recording devices. He wanted something light and portable, with a good recording time and good quality. I suggested this, but said there were a lot of models to choose from and if he wanted a quality recomendation I'd need some more info. Then, without hesitation, he just said he wanted to hide it in the lining of his girlfriend's purse. I was a bit taken back... but he was very upfront about it. I then recomended the one that can automatically turn off/on when it hears sound. You'd get a much better battery life that way. I did forget to mention that they all beep a lot when the battery/memory starts to run out. Lets face it... they've got issues.
2. I had a very large, very loud woman who was computer shopping. She was one of those happy, likes to talk to everyone sort of people and was very assertive about what she needed and her personal life and finacial situations. Anyways, she had been working with Jason earlier but dismissed him so she could think. She was ready now, but Jason was on a smoke break. I went looking for him, but eventually gave up and picked up where he left off. As I was talking this woman suddenly, out of no where, SLAPPED the table with her hands and yelled across the store: "JASON!! Where the HELL have you been??!?!" She let him hang his head and continue forward a few more steps (still a good 30 feet away) before yelling "Have you been POOPING?!??"