In Memory

My first memory of my Aunt Marilyn wasn't that many years ago. She came over from California when my grandma (her sister) was sick with cancer. I had got to know her a little then, but not a lot. The fact that we had barely met never phased her when it came to her hounding me to fly out to California to visit, which we eventually did 4 or so years ago for spring break in college. She not only gave four of us use of her home and food, but she made us take her car as well. She ran a day care in her house so during the week she was too busy to go anywhere anyways (or so she claimed). She even bought us tickets to Sea World and frequently took us out to dinner. It was one of the best Spring Breaks any college kid could ever hope for.

After that Spring, it didn't take long before she decided that I needed to come back out and bring all my friends again. What I didn't realize is that she was telling Jamie the same thing. Last year it got to the point where she was actually going to buy my plane ticket to get us out there so I gathered up Ro and Phil and we went to Cali... and separately, Jamie and Scott had already gotten their tickets as well. Well, I didn't let her buy my ticket, but she did buy us a rental car for the week... and took us out to dinner and a ton of other things we didn't deserve.

Great-Aunt Marilyn always gave all of herself to everyone else, us, her family, her daycare kids and parents. She was stubborn as hell, you just try talking her out of doing something for you and she'll pull the "I'm old and can do whatever I want" card. The most basic thing I could say about Aunt Marilyn is that she was happy. I think she lived her life the best way she knew how to live it. She always had family up, My cousin Kit and her daughter, my mom and her friends, not to mention all the family that's in California. She went on cruises (just a year ago she went to Alaska). Her grandchildren would come over every morning before school to eat breakfast and finish homework there. She did everything how she wanted and when she wanted and there wasn't a single person in this world who could "TELL" her to do anything.

In my opinion, that's why she never told a single person what was wrong. For the last 5 or 6 years she's been living with cancer, and its more than likely true that she's known for a long, long time. My aunt is retired now, but she was a palliative (hospice) care nurse. It was the terminally ill that she took care of... she would move in with patients and try to ease their passing. She had seen real sickness, and family suffering, and the effects of treatments all before. Although I doubt that she expected it to happen so suddenly, without a chance to say goodbye, I don't know if she would have changed it. She wouldn't want to be remembered as bedridden and sick. She wanted to live her life and do all she wanted to do and be with family and friends and be happy... and that's exactly what she did. So no one knew, she didn't take any treatments so she wasn't tied to the hospitals and constantly sick from the kemo. In the end she did what she wanted, exactly what she would have done regardless of if anyone knew or not. This way we didn't see her suffering, and she didn't see us. Marilyn Baze is a great woman and I know she's still happy... she's with her sister now.




Our mind thinks of death.
Our heart thinks of life
Our soul thinks of Immortality.

- By: Sri Chinmoy