That's right, it's' not even 7:00 am yet. "But Rob, what are you doing up so early?" Well my friends, I'm blogging. See since I screwed up yesterday, I wanted to make sure to hit today. And today I'm going to Springfield to take more tests for that CMS job thing. I figure since I'm driving all the way down there I should make the most out of it. I'm shooting for 3 tests, which at an hour and a half each, puts me at like 7 hours of testing (yeah, so I didn't do so well on the math part.)
To anyone who didn't get a chance yet, make sure you check out "Bunny suicides" from yesterday's post. They're my new favorite "comic." Anywho, I figured I'd be nice enough to show you what sparked the whole religious discussion the other day. I went to the mail box and what did I find? Some real-life spam! Not the regular email type of spam that I'm used to, this came to my house in physical form. Here's a sampling (formatting is exactly the same as the original:
"Dear...Someone Conected with This Address,
People just like you are writing to this 53-year-old church, telling us of all types of blessings since this church started praying with them.[...] Many of them are receiving spiritual, physical and financial blessings of all types - better jobs, raises in salaries, being able to buy and sell homes, buying new cars, and so on."
Does anyone else see a problem with a church baiting people with worldly possessions? And it's not just those either, "Actually these dear people are receiving so many blessing that it is impossible to mention them all in a letter." So what do you have to do? Just pray on the "First Church Prayer Rug!" That's right, a little fold out paper prayer rug is included. And they claim that:
"Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look, you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening, and he will begin looking back at you... Use this unusual, important, Church Prayer Rug for tonight only."
*Sigh* The power of suggestion. Oh wait, the power of suggestion + the power of careful photoshop = Relgious Experience. Its harder to make out on the scan, but trust me, I know photoshop. The reason you see the eyes open is because, VERY faintly, theres a picture of the open eyes hidden in there. That's all I'm gonna copy from the article. Just know that you also read about Sister So-and-so who got $50,000. And there's a big check list of what you want to be blessed with, how much money you wish to have blessed to you, and (of course) how much money you want to bless to the church.
So, someone actually took the time and photoshop'ed this picture of Christ so that he would give the illusion of having his eyes open so that people would have a religious experience. Is this deceit? Does s/he think that its for the greater good and bringing people closer to God? Is the lure of material goods and optical illusions really the way we wanted to go here?
Eh...
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5 comments:
Rob, you have no idea what you're talking about. I went to that link and after enough staring, Jesus totally started looking back at me. TOTALLY! Where do I send the money?
Optical illusion...psh. You can't fake that kind of transcendental movement to another plane of existence, Rob. You just can't deal with my infinite nature.
Ah yes, I got the same thing. It kind of freaked me out because half of it was threating me if I just threw it out. So there I was with this paper 'prayer rug' wondering what to do with it. I finally decided 'God tends to use a cloud and a whisper, or a burning bush, or his son to talk to people. I don't think he's fallen on hard times and now has to rely on the questionable at best US Postal Service.'
And so, threw it away. Still the whole thing was kind of spooky if you ask me. The thing that really shot the creepy factor to crap was that on the second page of the letter they're basically begging for money. Smooth.
- Scott
this sounds like a job for *cue holy sounds* Popeman and Altar Boy!
I'm going to Hell.
As a side note, I was stopped by some random teeny boppers at stl mills the other day and asked "Do you know where you're going when you die?" Not a question I'd expect from a kid in a hollister shirt.
Rob,
I too received the same mailing just this week. And, much like the rest of you, I crossed my fingers, held my breath, said a prayer, and threw it out (I didn't tear it up like I do most of my junk mail -- that seemed a bit TOO risky for me...)
I put this in the same category as the "if you love Jesus, forward this to everyone in your address book!" emails. Call me crazy, but I just don't think God cares much about chain letters.
Lisa
PS - Do many Christians use prayer rugs? Was anyone else confused by this?
yes...yes..., I too have recieved this letter and let me tell you I have this prayer rug and this prayer rug only to thank for the blessing of my beloved "nancy". She is the the ship of all ships. She has been with me through it all. The battles of wahoo ma'a'lala, the hieghts of buduwoodu, the lows of a drunken stooper. What better freind to have for a glorious buccaneer such as I, Captain Jack Cuervo!!! HAHA and Arr, ok wait what were we talkin about? oh yeah the prayer rug, what a joke.
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