Getting shot down faster...

faster than a buck-toothed, amblyopia suffering, goth chick at the Miss Hawaiian Tropic swimsuit competition. Yesterday I got out 9 resumes, another in the mail this morning, and a ton of phone calls. I actually just found the Computer Help section of the yellow pages and started calling down the list:

Aviopro Inc.
Best Buy
CDS Office Technologies
Charles Electronics
Computer Mechanix
Hyperion
LPS Express Inc
Midwest Computer Consultants
Novanis
PC Doctors
Computer Deli

Nothing. Struck out at every one of them. Most I got was Best Buy said I could work the floor for $8.50 an hour and half of them said, "Send your resume and we'll keep it onfile." So today I'm going a different route. I've got 4 or 5 agencys and right after I go to get food I'm gonna call them all. ALL of them... that's right. Mom gave me the tip to watch out for ones that have placement fees, and other than that I'm gonna see which one or two can give me the most confident solution. Or I can go through Adecco and get some good acid or LSD. So I hopefully can make some sort of appointment for this afternoon, but who knows... we'll see how it goes.

Ummm... but I feel like I need to give you something random.... So here it is. This list cracked me up. I read through it like twice.

The Top 100 Things I'd do if I Ever Became an Evil Overlord

click here!

Rob's Office Space: Almost as good as word of the day toilet paper.

I'm at ISU right now. I helped Ro study for an Visual Disorders test she has today. A lot of really big words for simple enough disorders... For example: Achromotopsia is simply Color Blindness, which means there was some malformation/damage to the cones in your eyes. Myopia and Hyperopia is Far and Near Sightedness (respectively). Amblyopia means you have a lazy eye... "Hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!" And Anophthalmus means you're a pirate (missing one eye). By the way, there was actually a side note in her book reguarding Anophthalmus that blew my mind. I kid you not, it said, if both eyes are affected it results in total blindness. Seriously, did that need to be stated? If someone is missing both eyes entirely... you mean, he can't see?!?

In other defination news: Yours truely has submitted a defination on Urbandictionary.com. I was really disappointed when the word I made up was already there... but with a different defination. The weirdest thing about it is that the person who made the other defination was from Illinois State as well. Small world. But here it is: Frat Rat.

So yeah, that makes me a scholar right? I mean, I coined a new term and its on the books. Give me a thumbs up rating so I can beat out that other guy's defination. Mine's better anyways. At least my usage example is. One final note on definations. I saw a newspaper article on this a while back but now I can't find the actual article again. Here is a copy of that article that I managed to dig up. I'm not going to be able to assure the validity of this, I'm just passing it along. Reguardless, it's funny:

This is a true story. A Cork Radio Station (in Ireland), 96 FM, was running a competition to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any English Dictionary, yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali for a week.

The DJ Neil, had many callers; the following two standing out:

DJ: 96FM, what's your name
Caller: Hi, me name's Dave
DJ: Dave, what is your word
Caller: Goan.....spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'
DJ: We are just checking that (pause) and you are correct, Dave, 'goan' is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali is: What sentence can you use that word in that would make logical sense?
Caller: "Goan fuck yourself"

At this point, the DJ cut the caller short and announced that there is no place for that sort of language on a family show.

After many more unsuccessful calls, the DJ took the following caller:

DJ: 96FM, what's your name
Caller: Hi, me name's Jeff
DJ: Jeff, what is your word
Caller: Smee.....spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'
DJ: We are checking that (pause) and you are correct, Jeff. 'Smee' is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali, is: What sentence can you use that word in that would make logical sense?
Caller: "Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!"

Woohoo! We're back online!

Alright, so my sites' been down for a while. Last friday I really did type a post, however when I tried to publish it.... BAM! error message. And the post was lost forever. The few others who have posted before (Tim, Scott, Ro & WendyLoo) probably know how hard it is to come up with stuff to write about, and then how completly frustrating it is when you lose it due to technical difficulties. But ANYWAYS...

Here's my quest for everyone today: Mr. Picassohead. Yep, that's mine. And I WANT to see yours. So make your own. Send it via email to yourself. And then copy and paste the link in my comments section to share yours with the world!

My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle & Voltron post will have to come another day, 'cause I'm just not feeling it at the moment. But I am feeling Mr. Picassohead. And I AM expecting to see everyone else's Mr. Picassohead. Kimmy, you're in charge of making sure everyone at AWR gets their head submitted and posted right. Everyone else, I KNOW you can figure it out. I expect to see some heads! Have a great Monday.

College Humor is the Bizzomb

Alright, so its not exactly a secret. I get a handful of the links I share with all of you from CollegeHumor.com. And the links I was gonna share with you today I got from there, but I wanted to take a moment and share with you the source. In general it's safe for work, because it'll give warnings (nudity) before or after any potentially offensive link. Its best to be extra careful in the "pictures" section. But it is mostly highly entertaining stuff. Every few days someone on the CH staff posts an article and since we were on the topic I thought I would highly recremend it. It's about the usage of the word "gay." And I think it's a quality read - 'cause it's more or less my views as well. And it's proposed in a better way then most people put it. But I digress.

For those of you at AWR that miss my "antics" I think Melinda should check out this website and make it her goal to abide by it. I mean, I skimmed over it and it's a lot of the stuff I used to do anyways and I think AWR could use some more life. This applies for everyone, at every work/class setting. So here it is: You mission, should you chose to accept it.

Finally, also from CH.com, this is a must see. Kimmy, it's safe to watch at work, much how foamy is safe to watch. People who walk by may give funny looks, but as long as there's no sound, you should be safe. Its Adam Sandler's website... click on and watch the "Secret" video.


Tomorrow's topic: Voltron and TMNT

I'm a jerk.

Ok, I'm downright an asshole sometimes. This is a known fact. Ask my girlfriend, sometimes I can be a terrible individual. But this struck me as... odd? Humorous? I dunno. So I'm doing some job searching still and come across this employment agency. Now I want you to look at this and tell me if anything JUMPS out at you: Adecco. Wow...

So yeah, it's been 2 months and landing that "career" has been harder than I'd hoped but all is not lost. I'm starting to look for "a job" again, which isn't what I wanted to do, but its starting to be what I'm needing to do. Funny thing is, my friend Phil is also looking for a life change - he wants to go to school and study nursing. There's a nursing school in Springfield.... hmmm... I don't know. Anyways, I'm trying to find something online and I have nothing to great to blog about... I woke up at 10:00 am. Watched The Daily Show and Blind Justice (Ro's real interested in that show because of her going into blind special ed and all). And I had Banana and Nutella Crepes for breakfast.

That's all I got.

I'm Down... I'm Jiggy.

You Remember Seseme Street? Remember the "One of these things do not belong here" game? Now do you remember last week when I said that I was visiting Ro's friends? Yeah, that was me. The one that didn't belong. And I'm not just talking about the testostrone searing through my vains either. Actually it wasn't weird or awkward at all, Ro's friends are awesome. They're all just like she is... super nice, super excitible, cute little super friends.

So we (Ro, two other friends and I) were driving through the ghetto in Chicago. And as we passed a bilboard advertising a Maroon5 concert they started acting all excited. At what point I yelled at them all for ruining our street cred and trying to get us shot. So I just wanted Scott and all my other Hommies to know that yes, I did Represent whil in Chi-Town. Fifty Cents is my homeboy. I'm totally down with Jayzee and M&M's.

But for my commitment to you, my blogites, I will make sure that you continue to waste as much time as possible. I want to remind you about AddictingGames.com and tell each and every one of you to download StumbleUpon. It is SO worth it. You will never be bored again! If you have any questions/comments/problems let me know, you're probably not the only one. Right now, Ro is the only person who I know is wasting her life away with Stumble, so let me know what you think!

The Beginning of the End

of what you may ask? "This Blog" is probably what most of you are thinking, and although I've been having trouble with the blog as of late (I really NEED to get a job soon), I'm not giving up on it yet. I assure you that although it has not been up to par quality lately, it will comeback full force. Why? Because I will get a job where I have breaks, and all day to think of things to write about. And as long as I don't pick up smoking anytime soon, I doubt I'll really utilize my break in any way better than reaching out to my still devout followers... and pick up some new ones.

So again, the beginning of the end of what?
"The rest of your productive life"

I'm about to make up for a lot of the slacking as of late and bring to you what I've always promised you in the past... A serious waste of time. I've got one word for all of you out there: Stumble. That's right, you have no idea what I'm talking about but trust me on this. Stumble Upon is a toolbar that you install in your browser (you can do this at AWR folks), and it requires only a little bit of set-up. Here's the deal. You get a toolbar on your internet window and it has this little button that says "Stumble." You click that and it sends you to a Random webpage based on some prefrences you selected. Give it a few tries to get through some of the big ones it will throw at you right off the bat (They're good sites, but it's just getting a feeling for what you like). Anyways you rate the site with a thumb up and thumb down and then it will send you more sites based on your ratings. I've already rated Foamy and a few others as well. Make sure you rate my blog as a thumbs up as well. That way more people may stumble in here as well! If you find something REALLY good, be sure to share it with the rest of us (but make sure it's not like one of the first 10 or so sites, because it will get less common the more you rate and use it).

Enjoy!

@UIC

So yeah, busy. In Ro's friends dorm room.
Not gonna be a nerd and maintain a blog here.
My one this I will tell you...
I'm the ONLY cracker in here.
Exciting, huh?

Happy Saint Patricks Day one day late!

Reading Rainbow

butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high
take a look, it's in a book, it's reading rainbow

I can do anything
friends to know, and ways to grow
reading rainbow
reading rainbow

Hello Kids, today we're gonna talk about books. See, I'm on my way to Chicago in say, 15 minutes and I need a post. And I'm also currently Burning an audio book for the car ride. Let me tell you, audio books are awesome. Got a mindnumbing job? Listen to an audio book while you work. Got a long, solo drive ahead of you? Audio book. The one I picked for today out of my dad's vast library (he's an automotive body repairman - and listens to a lot and there and when doing home remodeling) is Eragon. It had a picture of a dragon on the cover, so I was sold.

I want to take a moment and throw out some book recremendations. See, I stole an nausiatingly cute idea from Josh and Allyn (best friend of mine engaged to a great girl, see here). So Ro and I picked out books for eachother and did a little exchange. I gave her Enders Game, and she bought me "Working." Enders Game has been brought up on this site before and Working is a collection of like 100-150 short interviews/essays/whatever from people all over the US, from your bus driver to your lawyer. Interesting read, let me tell you. Its amazing how many people all over feel exactly like you do about some things, and others doing the same thing can LOVE what they do. Anyways, yeah. My "If you're gonna read one sci-fi book ever" recremendation is "Enders Game." What about you? Any book suggestions?

No Scott, you can't say Enders Shadow. Just for the record folks, if you like Enders Game, Enders Shadow is as good, if not better.

P.S. Remember the episode when you found out that LeVar Burton was the same guy who played Geordi LaForge on Star Trek? When I was a kid, it blew my mind. Hell, it still blows my mind.

I'm back!

alright so what I was originally gonna post for Monday was to totally rip off my friend Tim's rant about tribute album... here. Anyways, while looking up such ridiculous tribute albums, I rant into these infamous Kidz Bop albums. Wow. That's all I got to say about that. Nothing like hordes of 10 year olds singing about violence, sex and times way before they were born.

Oh yeah... and this.

Childhood is Fun

This is Ro. I stole Rob for a few days, which is why he has not updated. So I am now taking over his blog. I'm glad to see that no one has complained for his lack of posting. Thanks to everyone for being such a good sport about this. And for those of you who really do have a problem with it, you can eat it.

Over the weekend, Rob, Phil, Kim and I discovered Cranium. The game is loads of fun. I don't have time to explain it, but you can google it if you're REALLY interested. So the topic for the day is childhood games. My favorite game as a child was Mystery Dream Date. It's the game with the talking phone that gives you hints about which eligible bachelor is your boyfriend and where he is going to take you on a date. The first person to figure out who the boyfriend/ location are wins. But only like 2 of the 7 guys were hot, so no one really wanted to win most of the time. That game was awesome. So was that Mall Madness game where you run around a mall and whoever spends the most money wins. This is where I learned my role as a woman in American society... through board games.

So what is your favorite board game and how did it shape you as a person?

Revenge and Vandalism

Just in case there was any confusion at all, yes... I know I'm hot. I mean come on! Look at me!! All the ladies want to know me, and all the fellas wanna be me... 'cause I'm money. And Scott, yes that was a "I'm pleased with myself" expression. And I don't like your attitude. I hope that you didn't plan on using your phone or your debit/credit cards anytime... ever. Why, you ask? 'Cause I've already "Ruined Your Life!" Muh-ha ha ah ha ha!

Most of you may not know this, but I have a favorite quote. Actually I have many, they normally come and go but for the last 6 months or so, my automatic signature for my Email account has been this one:

"War never determines who is right, only who is left."

So yeah, that goes on the bottom of every email I send out. Kinda my own version of advertising, kinda like a billboard, or graffiti. I choose to us my emails to leave my own little gems of wisdom, but others sometimes use other spaces on which to leave their mark. And this website is a collection of such spaces.
Enjoy!

The *NEW* Me!!

Dear Anonymous,

Anonymous said...

I am disappointed...here it is, TWO days with posts AFTER 2...I thought you were going to work on posting earlier....

1:57 PM

Here's an idea... why don't YOU MAKE YOUR OWN BLOG!!!! And I want to see content EVERY SINGLE DAY! and on top of that I want to see you TRY and be halfway interesting - cause let me tell you, its hard as hell!!!!

*huff *huff
*weeze
*deep breath
*holding it...
*let it out.

There. Now that I've got that out, here's the reason why I haven't posted yet today. I was gonna do before and after shots of the beard, but the stupid razor parts hasn't come in yet. So it looks like you're all only gonna get half the post that was intended today in part because of our postal system, and in part because of Anonymous's impatience. But you wanted pictures, and I try to not let you all down:

Here I am!

Feral Children

Alright, so some of you may know/seen that my electric razor has been... well useless the past few days. I had to order a new head/blades for it, because instead of cutting the hair, it has been doing much more of a ripping/tearing sort of shave. This is, well, because I'm a hairy guy and go through razors faster than Kim goes through guys. No it's not you Kimmy, its someone who doesn't read this blog... and really only one person will get that, but they'll probably show it to everyone else who will get it and it will be fun for all - well except for 95% of my audience... eh, I digress. I expected to get my new parts in today, but that hasn't happened yet. It's now been a week since I've shaved and I'm looking quite like a wolf man. I'm gonna take a picture right before I do shave to show everyone how pretty I am.

Anyways, on collegehumor I found this link about Feral Children. ahem...

Feral: Wild, used to describe animals that are usually not domesticated, like cats or pigs.

So there you go. That's what we're talking about here. Right now I feel a bit feral, or at least look it. So that's how this pertains to me. Here's the website. So you can see stories and pictures of children who were raised by animals. There. Cool, huh? What I want to know is, what animal would you liked to have been raised by, and what super cool animal skill would you take away from that experience? (note, doesn't have to make sense)

Anyways, that's what I got for you today. I'm posting a picture very soon, and will give you some better content then as well. Until that time, I hope you all keep coming back to my crappy website!

The Movies: Revisited

Alright time for the second installment of my movies discussion. Today we're gonna be talking about more current movies. Its a huge pet peeve of mine when I get REALLY excited about a movie, and then it sucks. Here are some of my biggest let downs:

Reign of Fire: Movie about dragons taking over the world in the future... This had the promise to be one of my favorite movies of all time. I do like dragons. It sucked. It was simply a bad movie. The only thing that could have mad it worse would have been a Wayans Brother.... oh wait... that was this movie.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Not a "HORRIBLE" movie, but not "good" either. It had Sean Connery in it. That alone, plus the hype, is probably what killed this movie. Not that Connery did a bad job, but that him being in it raised expectations so high. And how can you have a "League" and leave out Elmo??

Underworld: Romeo and Juliet done with Vampires and Werewolves. I really enjoyed the story, just not the execution. I was in it entirely for the Theatrical end of things of course. I was pumped to see good ol' Willy Shakespeares work transcend genres and live on through... shit, who am I kidding, I wanted to see vampires. I'm still in love with Kristy Swanson.

Saw: The movie that inspired this post. Watched it last night with Mike Collins... I was AMAZED that for an hour and 15 minutes I was thoroughly enjoying a quality movie... and then something happened. They tried to pull a "Usual Suspects" ending and failed terribly. The movie completely went to crap. eh, oh well. Is is wrong that I was totally into a movie about a serial killer who puts people in positions where they end up killing themselves?? nah, I'm sure its totally healthy.

So that's where I stand on those. I'm not gonna mention the Matrix series, it goes without saying. Oh and I could add the Crow 2 & 3 as well, but I won't get into any of that. Anything you'd like to add to my list of disappointments? I'd love it hear it. Or would you want to argue one of my picks? Go for it, but don't expect me to listen.

The Movies: Revelations

So Ro and I were having a conversation that I thought I'd continue on here. Has anyone else every noticed how much more difficult it is to make a movie nowadays than it was in the past. I'm on a neverending quest to help catch Ro up with all the iconic 80's movies of my youth, and it's really not her fault she hasn't seen them, it's mine. If I wasn't a pedophile, and dating a 12 year old, then I wouldn't have this problem... nonetheless here is where I stand. So it wasn't until I rewatched most of these movies with a fresh set of eyes that I realized, plot holes and unexplainable logic jumps are simply a part of movie past. Look at Weird Science. That movie makes no sense.

So to be a "good" movie now, you it has to be damn near perfect in all aspects. Look at the Matrix 2 & 3. Awesome special effects, and I would say that MOST of the movies individual aspects were great. But it wasn't enough - the movies sucked. Today we want to know the how's and why's to every little thing. We want to believe. I had to prep Ro for Superman I. I don't know if any have you ever noticed, but the part where Lois dies, and Superman gets so enraged he just starts flying as fast as he can around the world... and then the world slowly stops spinning and the starts going the other way, and all of the sudden Time is being reversed as well... yeah, we accepted that in the 80's. Not so much today. If I could go back in time, I'd change that one part of the movie and I think it would then be good even by today's standards.

So the question I want to ask you, Can you think of any other movies that "should" have been good... but one part just kinda ruins it all for you. Or if you don't like that option, how about give me an old, popular, 80's movie that had something incredibly ridiculous in it, but everyone just accepted it back then.

That's all folks.

Scott Gresham is by far my best relation, and I am not worthy to call him by name.

Scott is the sexiest, most charming, clever man ever to walk North America. Or even normal America.


(For explanation, see below post)

Interview #3

Alright so it's my second post in a row in unfamiliar territory. So, what's the best thing to do in this situation? That's right...

State your name and occupation for the record:

My name? Scott. Scott Gresham. If you really want to get into it, I suppose my 'real' name is Harry Scott Gresham. Which often leads to me wishing my first name was Michael, so my initals would be MSG.

My occupation is a bit tricker. I guess I could say that I'm a professional student, but I prefer the term 'aimless drifter'. It's the one that is applied to me more often, so I guess that's your answer.

Damn, I forgot how wordy you are... This is gonna be tricky. I gotta tell you though, I expected you to say you wished your middle name was "Richard." I'll leave it at that. So, lets see. This is my second time at your place, and you've already gotten me thrown off of private property. Is this a common occurance with you Scott?

Hmm, no actually. The last place I was thrown out of was probably a soccer game where I comandeered an announcement booth and started announcing the game. It was all well and good when I was serious about it, but then I started getting a bit...inappropiate. By the time I was sucking helium from the balloons (it was senior night) and announcing the coach just turned around and yelled "GET HIM OUT OF THERE". So...I guess sort of often.

Alright, so on to a topic that maybe the other reader might care about... how about... "me." More specifically, "Rob's Office Space." What's your favorite ROS experience, and how can I help get you some more of those?

I would say anytime we (the readers) bicker back and forth over some irrelevant topic. Trivial stuff like Ariel's boobs, movie trivia, and women's rights. That's always the most fun. So include more things that will potentially anger the zealots.

Yeah, that's always fun (by the way Ro, I saved you the trouble... zealot: a fervent and even militant proponent of something ). So more trivial stuff... got it. Alright, one final question and the we have to wrap this up: Rubix Cubes, love them or hate them?

Hate them.

I'm Impressed.

I'm glad, I spend most of my waking time trying to figure out how to be just great enough to impress people, but not as great as I could be, thus filling them with jealous rage.

Great, and you're humble. Well, that does it for me. I'd like to thank my guest, Harry. I wish you the best.

Oops, got to great. Rob just bolted from my house in a mad fervor. He didn't even finish this post, nor did he take his leather jacket. So I'm finishing the post and selling the jacket. This is Scott...I'm out.

Memoires at a Coffee Shop

Memoaires... Memwares...Memwahres... I dunno how to spell. Anyways,I'm up here at ISU and Rowela is just now clocking in for work. Itsmy BIRTHDAY! And to anyone who knows Pretty Emily, it's her Birthdayas well. Yeah, we share, isn't that cute? Anyways, I decided tospend the day in Bloomington and I'll take my next tests inSpringfield on tomorrow and then go back to Jerseyville.

Job update:
Springfield is currently hiring for a "Human Rights Investigator." Iturned in my application and took a test yesterday. Good news is thatI got an A on the test, and that test was hard as hell. It was a lotof reading the actual laws and legal definations and case studies andtelling if there was actually discrimination or not. Or a case wascurrently at "this" stage of processing, what's the next step. Trueall the information was given to you but it was all legal speak andquite difficult reading. In the end I scored fairly high, despite thefact that I was certain I was failing while I was taking the test.

Birthday update:
When I got my clothes out this morning I saw a birthday card that momhad slipped into my bag, so Thanks Mom! I had a choir of Ro'sSuitemates sing Happy Birthday to me at midnight last night. And Iwent to class with Ro this morning... so all is going well. Gonna hita movie later tonight. I move to make today an unoffical holiday. Iwant everyone, expecially you all at AWR, to wish everyone else ahappy birthday. We're gonna put March 2 on the calander. So HAPPYBIRTHDAY EVERYONE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

man I wish I had spell check...

Leaving Town.

So Tomorrow's my birthday. And today I'm gonna take some tests and such in Springfield. However I've got more test than I can do in one day. And I don't really want to take tests ON my birtday. But I really don't know what I'm doing. So I'm playing this all by ear. I'm packing enough clothes to last till Thursday and I plan on spending time with the girliefriend. I'll post. And will post better than this one, it's just that I'm running around trying to get organized right now. Kimmy, this post is worthless to you, 'cause I'm sure you already know what I'm gonna disclose to the general public.

New Foamy!