Friday, October 14, 2005

Blockbuster's Terror Chart

I had a Blockbuster experience, but there’s really no reason to go into it. It would mainly be me complaining about how they have this new policy that if they don’t mention Blockbuster Online to you, you get a free movie rental. The actual effect was that he tried to force Blockbuster Online down every customer’s throat one at a time in line. I felt like I was at Best Buy. Anyways, during my LONG wait in line I noticed this:

It’s the ruler on the exit door and appears to double as Blockbuster’s own terror level indicator. If someone is trying to steal something and they’re in the green (or in Ro’s case, below) they’re safe to stop/tackle. If their height puts them in the midrange, its employee discretion. And if someone is in the Red zone, that means “You don’t get paid enough for that. Its just a movie for heaven’s sake.” Is it sad that my Fabricated Blockbuster’s Terror Level Indicator makes far more sense to me than America’s?

Where else do you think we should have terror indicators? Or if you don’t have anything to say on that, you can relate how awesome I am. Either or.

P.S. Your word of the day is:
  • Iraqnophobia: paralyzing fear of Iraq or the people of middle-eastern decent (or any non-whites); Overwhelming fear of Terrorism

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the word of the day idea. RSO continues to educate the readers, well done!

Bosses should come with terror warnings. They should post colors on their door...when to push your luck, and when to back off!

Tabitha

Josh said...

Assigned papers should come already equipped with onboard warnings. Specifically for crunch time ponderings- Green- "sure, those margins look pretty much standard size."
Yellow- "ehhhh, 12.5 Arial looks just like 12 point Times New Roman, right?"
Red- "If I put a blank sheet between a title page and another blank one on the back, that's another two pages right?"

Scott said...

It's true, Blockbuster is the devil. In fact paying for entertainment of any sort is more or less the devil. Bit Torrent away!


Oh and partial credit to me for comming up with alert levels for the colors. "Green: You can take him" "Yellow: Could go either way" "Red: It's just a f*cking movie, screw that."

Go me.

- Scott

Timmy Tapeworm said...

And weight doesn't factor into the equation at all? I think I'd probably be off the charts and well into the "Holy crap, call the rutting feds - that guy almost hit his head on the door frame" area, and yet my weight would put me easily into the "Send Julie to tackle him - she could use the exercise" category.

Anonymous said...

Very good point Tim. Scott, you loose points!

Tabitha

Jake said...

"RSO"? Rob's Space of Office?

Timmy Tapeworm said...

Jacob, I swear you never comment on anything until some commenter makes an error glaring enough to mention. I'd say it's all part of your charm, but it's actually pretty unoriginal.

Anonymous said...

I think the real sad part is that I actually believed your interpretation of the terror chart :-D
Oh, and you're awesome. (Did I pick the right Either or option? Who knows, it's way too late to be up anyway!)
- Nida

Jake said...

Tim, I'm just pointing out her errors BECAUSE she kindly invited me to burn in hell for being a communist. Which I'm not (anymore) but it still hurt. :'(

Rob said...

Rob's Corrections:

1) Its now known as Rob's Space 2.0 So RS2 is really the only acceptable acronym. I don't think anyone noticed when I changed that a while back.

2) Jacob, it was me that told you to burn in hell and I stand by it, you stupid commie.

3) And Scott cannot take credit for the descriptive names of the different color codes at blockbuster. Just because he cut in on me to say that as I was explaining it to him and he didn't let me finish my own logical punchline does not mean he gets credit for the joke.

And as Rob has spoken, so shall it be.