So I've never seen the new Chocolate Factory Movie, but I've heard good things about it and want to see it. Moreso than that, I want to see a different movie that hasn't been made yet, "Billy Bonka's Beef Factory!!" Just think about it... A little boy finds his golden ticket with his steak he ordered at a resturant and goes on a wild and crazy adventure into Billy Bonka's Amazing Technicolor Slaughterhouse...
Ok, so maybe the public's not quite ready for that film, but imagine it was a slasher comedy (kinda like a Freddy Movie). I think it would a Grade A piece of work. Definately a Cut Above the rest. A Prime (rib) choice... alright, none of those really worked, but you can't blame me for trying.
On the flip side, you know how movies always come in waves. Remember when Natural Disaster Movie's were all the rage (Twister, Volcano, Earthquake, Dante's Peak). And not that long ago it was all about Epic Films. Well, I want the next big thing to be, Accurate Histories. There's a new movie coming out called "The New World" starring Colin Ferrell as John Smith, Q'Orianka Kilcher as Pocahontas and Christian Bale as John Rolfe. I have a sinking feeling its going to be... less than accurate. What I really want to see is the TRUE story of Christopher Columbus. Now That would be a movie that would shake some things up. The only catch is that they would have to use only reliable sources of information, Columbus's Journal for example. Otherwise certain extremists would just be able to write everything off as Anti-American Propaganda. An accurate account, in everyone's face, would be good for this country. But hey, that's just my opinion.
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I don't know if there is an accurate story about Columbus? I do remember two movies that came out while back one called Christopher Columbus: The Discovery and the other movie was 1492. Big controversy why? The Native Americans said, "That is not the real story". Can't be no bigger controversy than the movie
something called Broke Back Mountain.
Freemama vs Columbus
Rob you should totally write catch lines for promoting movies! Thanks for finally posting!
Tabitha
Whoa, I just rewatched MST3K: The Movie for the umpteenth time last night and there you go quoting it. Weird.
You know Tim, there IS more to MST3K than MST3K: The Movie. Little known fact, they had a T.V. version for... oh I'd say about TEN years. Much better without Joel. (Ha! There are no Joel supporters here to oppose me!)
Anyway as far as the post, you know that New World isn't about Colombus right? It's going to be whatever version of the John Smith/Pocahontas tale the writers could get funding for. I've heard the CG on the singing animals is amazing.
*Gene Shallot voice* I guess we'll find out if the movie makes us "listen with our hearts," in the next few days, this film is really "just around the riverbend." Let's hope lines are short and "steady as the beating drum" so we can see this movie "paint with all the colors of the wind". *End Gene Shallot voice*
I need a shower after that.
- Scott
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