A Banking Life is Hard.

So I work Banker's hours... don't have to be in until 9:00 am. Also I seem to get EVERY HOLIDAY KNOWN TO MANKIND OFF!!! That's right, with pay. It's freakin' awesome. I work even less than I normally do, and get paid the same. Know what I did on my day off today? I was in Jerseyville. Ran around the new hugenormous highschool being built in town (it's just starting to get the drywall up). Also Josh, Tim, Scott and I played a nice round of Urban Golf (here for explaination).

The Meeting with the boss went well. Not Fantabulous or anything, but definately not bad either. I'll give you information of that nature when it becomes something to speak of. Also... I had to have actual interaction with the hot girl on Friday. You see, my blue marker was dying and I needed a new one. She totally hooked me up. I even made sure to stop by an hour or so later just to tell her how awesome the new marker was and how pleased I was with her services.

Last thing I want to mention before lights out is this: Ro's Blog! Alright, so she's not actually updating it herself yet. But she's been REALLY busy. So I'm posting the emails I'd gotten from her up on her site so everyone can see, and I'm sure she'll check her comments so feel free. I'm going to post one a day until I get caught up (I've got like 3 more from her I can put up there) and after that I'll just post emails up as she sends them, or she'll just post on it herself. Either way, this is just another method of time wasting, brought to you by, Rob's Office Space.

Later all!

The Power of Words

Good title, eh? Don't know if I have adequate content to back it up, but here it goes. Today's lesson children, is on Words.

simile: Showing comparison between two thing using 'like' or 'as.
Example: "Later guys, I'm off like a prom dress."
Side Note: Australians use lots of these. Metaphors as well. My favorite phrase I ever heard from a Kiwi (New Zealander) was "I'm so hungry I could eat the testicles off a low flying duck." I don't think that qualifies as either, but its funny.

Tautology: A word or group of words that unintentionally repeats its meaning.
Example: When was the last time you entered your PIN NUMBER into the ATM MACHINE? Or longed for the PERFECT UTOPIA? Using unnecessary words can make written and spoken language a DISORGANIZED MESS, but it’s not just STUPID IDIOTS who do so. I guess a FUNNY COMIC, for instance, is “one who’s employed”; a BLACK CROW is “the outcast in those large albino flocks”; and a SURVIVING WIDOW is “the last one standing in an all-widow game of Russian roulette.”
Side Note: I'll let you think about that for a while. If you like those check out the book "Armed Gunmen, True Facts and Other Ridiculous Nonsense." It's a collection of those that Ro and I found at Barnes & Nobles one day.

synonym: two words that can be interchanged in a context are said to be synonymous relative to that context.
Example: Nerd and Geek
Side Note: Nerd/Geek and Hot/Cute/Beautiful are conversations I've gotten into before with people. Many people use all these interchangably, but I feel they have very different meanings. I think Nerds are "Smart and a bit Socially Challenged" while Geeks are "Socially Challenged unless playing Dungeons and Dragons." Also I think Cute represents a niceness and innocence that is as much a girls personality as it is physical... Hot means she's sexually attractive... and Beautiful means they have more than their fair share of both. Once I told Ro that she should feel bad because she somehow stole some other peoples beauty at birth, and because of here there are like 10 horribly disfigured people walking out there.

Alarms are going off...

in my head anyways. I'm seeing a potential for problems. Last two days we were done with work by noon. This is bad, and I was the most recent temp picked up. I can't slow down to make the work stretch, 'cause there are like 5 of us working on it. So if I slow, my numbers will be poor, and that is NO GOOD either.

"Hello Rock, meet the Hard Place. Don't mind me, I'm just gonna wedge myself inbetween you two... there. All set."

So I debated all morning about what I could do. I want you all to pause just a moment and think about what I just told you about me being done with my work by noon. I work 9-6. I still had SIX HOURS of work left. I had to make a last ditch effort. My supervisor has been out sick, so I typed up this email and sent it out to her boss (and CC: Supervisor). Alex classes are what they call those courses I've been taking (Mortgages, Escrow, Adjustable Rate, Money Laundering, etc.) Mind you, this is my job on the line:

I had some ideas/questions concerning the afternoons that seem to be increasingly devoted to ALEX classes and Downtime. I realize that this should probably be discussed with [Supervisor], but she isn’t available at the moment. Moreover, there looks to be a few hours that might be utilized today, I thought it could at least be mentioned. I was wondering if there were some different positions within our division that I could be trained on. That way I might be more effective as a temp during these slower periods. Also, I realize there is a large hiring underway and some of those jobs maybe filled internally, potentially leaving various temporary positions vacant. I’d like to make myself available for anything you may see fit. If you would like to meet for a few minutes to discuss, I’d welcome the opportunity. Or if this is something that [Supervisor] should handle first, I understand that as well.

P.S. All this downtime is also why I've had time to transcribe so much Eurolog lately (updated again today).

She really is the greatest.

Here are some reasons:

• She cleans the apartments
• She is pretty
• She does the dishes
• She is at a camp where she's making a difference right now
• She uses her ninja skills to sneak up on Scott
• She also uses her ninja skills to help us rewire behind the TV
• She paid for "Team America" when I didn't have the money
• She paid for my gas so I wasn't arrested
• She helps me cook
• She plays video games with us
• She matches my socks

And that's just a few.
You can ask Scott, he'll vouch for her.

"Magandang gabi, maliit babae."

The Music Scene and my Eurolog

Sometimes things should just stay dead. Or have never been born in the first place. Can you tell me what these 3 things have in common:

• Limp Bizkit
• Spice Girls
• Backstreet Boys

That's right, they're all trying to make a comeback. I heard the limp bizkit song on the radio and just started laughing. The lyrics are exactly what you expect from Mr. Durst. Also, do you know what's cool at concerts nowadays? They don't hold up lighters anymore. Everyone waves their cell phone in the air - I thought it was pretty cool the first time I saw it at the Jimmy Eat World Concert.

Lastly, I've got my first post for my Eurolog up. It's not so much a blog, as a project. I'm going to transfer my Journal I kept in Europe from this crappy little notebook full of chicken scratch that I wrote while half asleep on trains, into something entertaining and copy it into a nice leatherbound book I picked up in Italy. So as I'm working on it, I'll post it on the website and ask for comments. Now the comments on that site are completely different than the comments on this site. Here we're simply keeping in touch and stroking my ego. There I really want some feedback about what isn't clear, what you would like to hear more about (I can elaborate on ANY point in the journal), what is boring and I should trim, etc. I welcome any comments at all, and all questions about the trip and such so I know how I should write my finished product. So if you're looking for another time waster - Rob's trying to pull through for you. I'll put a note in this blog when I update that one.

P.S. Eurolog is updated.

I fought the law...

• Harrison Ford in the Fugitive
• Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects
• The Blues Brothers

Do you know what all these characters have in common? The ability to fly low under police radar and be elude capture despite the best efforts of our men in blue. Do you know what else? They all look like Ostriches sticking their heads in the sand when compared to Scott and I. Ok, maybe not the Blues Brothers, they're cooler than cool, but the other two for sure. Another thing: we're much better looking. I've had two run ins with the law in 2 days. It should also be mentioned that thus far, HALF of my recreational outings with Scott has resulted in either being kicked off private property by either local staff or the police.

Thursday night Scott and I went Kite Sailing, which I believe is normally done on skis (or in a boat) in the water, but Scott stands by his claim that it's just as good on a exceptionally windy day just in tennis shoes in a field. Anyways, apparently the Batter Women's Clinic is pretty adament about not letting us use the hugenormous fields behind their building for firing a potatoe gun or kite sailing. This time they even involved the Po-po (where the hell did that slang ever come from anyways?). We deftly talked our way out of it and left without any trouble.

Friday night I went up to visit Ro before she left for camp. On my way to Chicago I stopped and got some gas, a french vanilla capachino and a pack of gum. The total was $24.96. I reached back for my wallet and.... nothing. I had left my wallet on the table 2 hours away. Luckily there was a cop outside so I figured I'd just cut out the middle man and told the cashier I'd be right back. I explained to the officer my situation and expressed how it would be in his best interest if he let me off the hook. He could barely hide the fear in his eyes. And in the end, I just paid for everything on the way back from Chicago (read as: Ro paid for everything).

Chocolate and my "Blue Power Outfit"

No, this post has nothing to do with this guy. Let me start from the beginning.

I had my first meeting today. We (my entire department) talked about business and we played a little team-builder/game. Lets face it, 3 years as an RA and 6 years camp experience, I know a hell of a lot about these "exercises." This one was simple enough, half the room left and we were told we were all up for a promotion, but there were a few things we could do to help secure this promotion. We all had a minute or two to read a piece of paper with these rules:

1. Come in a half hour early for the next 2 weeks.
2. Wear Blue on Fridays.
3. Bring your boss Chocolate and Strawberries.
4. Enter the building with a smile.

Also we were told that we don't want EVERYONE to know this, so only tell people who's birthdays are in May or August. Then everyone else was brought back into the room and we were paired up. We were told to give our partners the low down. Easy enough, I asked my partner (who happened to be my boss) when her birthday was. When she said February I took joy in not telling her ANYTHING. Anyways, I was apparently one of two people who had this game figured out. And I answered all the discussion questions whenever it would go silent for a while and no one was giving the instructor what she was looking for. Basically, I looked good and only spoke up, like twice. And my boss KNEW I knew the game, 'cause I predicted it while we were killing time (when I was supposed to be telling her what I knew).

Anyways, the reason for all this back story: I hung out with some of the gossip hounds today, and learned a lot. My job isn't... how do you say... "stable." Mainly they were expecting a huge rush of work here, and instead work has actually dropped off. So I have to accelerate my plans. I have to start laying it on thick. Tomorrow I'm gonna REALLY apply myself and try to start pushing my serious enrollment skills and asking for more work when we're done. Also Tomorrow's Friday. That means, Blue Shirt and Blue Power tie, just like in Item #2. And I figured I'd do everything on the list while I was at it. Gotta wake up extra early tomorrow. Gonna walk into the bosses office a half hour early, give an obviously lame story about how I misset my alarm and stumbled across these strawberries (2 or 3) and chocolate (probably M&M's). As Scott always says when we are trying to find a parking place: "Go Big or Go Home!"

A new entity at work...

So far we have Me, the cheeky narrator, who relays the exciting stuff to you, the reader. Other characters thus far have included "The Boss" as well as "The Hot Girl." Well folks its time I introduced you to "The Irritating argumentative Know-it-all" (Tiakia.) Why must every office place environment have one of these? I think they just come with the building, or some union clause, or something. Tiakia sits right on the other side of the 5 ft tall "wall" that my cubicle is against. Have you ever heard a high pitched ringing in your ears, or at night heard water dripping somewhere, and it soon becomes the only thing you can hear?!? That's how it always goes with me and Tiakia's everywhere. Here's what she educated all of us about today:

Apparently the problem with everything in the world today is with our current police and judicial systems; too much red tape, too many loop holes. So the only logical solution to this problem is, and I quote, "Vigilanteism." If regular people could just hire vigilantes to take care of people who have wronged them (and by take care she DEFINITELY meant kill) there would be far less problems in the world. She had it all worked out, they would be like US Marshals - certified and such. After arguing this for ten minutes I experienced a euphoric sort of silence that lasted about a half hour. Then apparently someone flicked a rubber and she went on a tirade about how she literally could have lost an eye. She initially just used the cliche, but after the other person was like "Whatever, it wouldn't have poked your eye out." Tiakia felt challenged and went off. Mind you she was taking up the argument that it would have bounced off the monitor, then the wall, to achieve the right angle to go in through the side (around her glasses) to SLAM into her eyeball, popping it out of socket. I wanted to hit her in the back of the head with a shovel and make both of them pop out.

Anyone else deal with this? And Kimmy, how are our little chatter boxes at AWR?

The Scam

Ro made me promise this would be short. So here it is:

I've been intentionally setting up this elaborate display to secure my job. It is afterall a temp position, and I know first hand how those can go; here today, gone tomorrow. So here are some of the ridiculous actions I've taken thus far.

1. I make sure to stop by and say hello to the boss at least once a day.
2. I'm always the best dressed person there. I wear a tie everyday, except on Casual Fridays. On Friday I wear Black Cargo-pocket Dress Pants and an untucked button up the front short sleeved short. This makes me seem more professional than the average temp.
3. One of the gossip hounds next to me has an empty candy dish. I brought in 2 bags of chocolate on her day off and filled her dish. If I win her, she'll say good things about me... to EVERYONE.
4. Online courses are available for all employees. I took all of the ones I was required to take, on government regulations and such, and now I'm taking every other related course I can (there are hundreds and take 30 minutes to 2 hours a piece). The boss is aware of my subtle over achieving, and none of my other coworkers are (I don't want to appear too much like a suck up, now do I?)

Anyways, I'm looking for more suggestions! I'm going to start asking for extra responsibility soon, but I need to have a good handle on things first. I'm currently studying up on Government loans (FHA and Veterans Loans), and I've got Mortgages in general, Escrow Accounts, and Money Laundering down. Help me out here!! And for now, I'm going to bed. Goodnight! And have a great Hump Day! Tomorrow is Smallville season finale!

One of the defining moments days of my life…

We all have those days. Days when something so spectacular happens we just know we’ll remember this day forever. High School Graduation or Prom, Your Wedding Day, Your Wedding Night, you know what I’m talking about…

I SPOKE TO THE HOT GIRL TODAY!!!

Sorry, I’m no good at dramatic build-ups and suspenseful story telling so I thought I’d just get it out there right away. Here’s what happened:

I went to go get some fresh strawberries, a biscuit and some coffee on my break this morning. I tried putting a shot of vanilla and a shot of caramel in it too reduce the nasty coffee-taste. Oh yeah, and two cup-things of whitener and 4 sugar packets… still tasted like nasty coffee and I ended up dumping it all out, but none of that is important. On my way back to my desk, I noticed the hot girl walking towards me, so I did what I always do: I kept my eyes down at my feet and tried to avoid eye contact. Problem, this hallway is simply too long. There was nothing that interesting about my coffee or strawberries and it would be OBVIOUS that I wasn’t looking at her on purpose for that long. So I had no choice: I looked up and eye contact was established.

It was like slow motion, we both smiled a friendly hello and then I watched in terror as she opened her mouth to speak to me. I was actually surprised I could make out the words with my pulse racing and the blood pounding in my ears.
“Hello,” she said.
“Hi,” said me.
Dammit Rob is that the best you can come up with? Pull yourself together! Alright comment on her shirt, it was a nice, pale blue sweater/shirty thing. Say something smooth, like Antonio Banderas. But I didn’t need too, she beat me too the punch,
“That’s a nice breakfast you got there.” Quick, think fast… be witty.
“Nah, I had Cocoa Krispies for breakfast, I figured I should eat SOMETHING healthy today.” Stupid, Stupid, STUPID! Now I let her know that I eat breakfast like a 5 year old and probably thinks I was telling her that she should eat healthy too… why don’t I just call her FAT straight out.
“Well, I’m not so sure that coffee’s that good for you. Besides, it gives you coffee breath.” Did she just wink at me? I swear she just winked at me… Compose yourself Rob. “Well, I kinda doubt I’d be in a situation where that will be an issue, at work I mean.” She smiled and stepped a bit closer. Woah, Personal Space Violation!!!
“As long as you keep that attitude, you’re probably right.” And she stepped closer to me again…

Alright, I made up that whole last paragraph, so sue me. So what if she said “Hello” and all I could do was croak out a barely audible “Hey…” All of that COULD have been true, but I have a wonderful girlfriend and not interested. And that’s the only reason. It best that I don't talk to her, because in the end it'll be her feelings that get hurt, not mine. So yeah...

The newest sexually confused trio...

Everyone's heard the rumors. Seems like you can't be a male trio in today's society without the question of your sexual orientation coming to the forefront. Let's Review:

• The Three Tenors
• Bert, Ernie and the Rubber Ducky
• The 3 guys from Full House

But what's next do you ask? I'll tell you, I noticed it while Ro and I were enjoying bowls of Cocoa Krispies this morning. I present Exhibit A and Exhibit B. We decided that Pop is the queen of the group.

But on a more serious note. It's happened. I've move into Scotts. I got all my stuff in today and I think we have quite a place here. Only thing left is to hook my computer up to the internet so I can do this from my own room, instead of on Scott's computer. Also, I've decided to tweak my posting schedule a bit. Since I can't post at work anymore, making it after 6ish before I could even think about posting, here's the new deal. I'm posting the night before the week night. So those of you who check at work, should have fresh content every Mon-Fri. Lets face it, I'm not waking up early to comment.

And I just brought my entire movie collection up here as well. That just made Scott's avaible movie collection jump from like 12 to 250. And Scott's bringing up his Nintendo 64 and Sega Genisis from Home. Meaning with the Nintendo Game Cube, Playstation 2, as well as our computers, we have quite a selection of games at our disposal. Anyways, I'm off to shower. Tell me what you think of my ceral theory. And of anything else that crosses your mind. Have a great day!

I NEED SLEEP

Alright, it's after 1 am and I have work. So this is gonna be brief.

Hot Girl Update: The plan is shot to hell. I had a run in with her today when we met in a narrow hallway. Eye contact was made, and smiles exchanged... I'm currently at a loss and plan B is in development.

Training Update: I know ALL ABOUT Money Laundering.

Big News Update: The reason I'm so late to posting/sleeping tonight is because I was back in Jerseyville today. I drove right there after work. "But Rob, that's a mighty silly thing to do on a worknight." Yes, you're correct. Except I really wanted to pick up some stuff from my house to put in my barren room. That's right, I have a room. I'm taking over Scott's spare bedroom and I'll be setting up my stuff (including my computer tomorrow). I am also currently developing my 4 week Annexation plan to break off from "Scott's Apartment." Down with Tyranny!

School Starts Early

Ok, I've got some big news coming soon. But I'm gonna wait until tomorrow to tell you. 'Cause I'm a jerk. But what I will tell you is that I get to take Classes at work. Tomorrow I get to learn about "Money Laundering." I kid you not. I'm really excited about that. Today I learned all about the government regulations dealing with financial institutions. From protection against discrimination, to responding on a timely manner, to confidentiality rights of our customers with regard to the government. All of these are true, I can give you the actual names and regulations for each. MY favorite part was the note at the end, when it said that the Patriot Act completely destroys the confidentiality part. I laughed out loud.

Also I told my boss today that I was taking her job. I almost panicked for a moment when I could see that she was a bit taken-a-back by the statement. But she caved and laughed after a second (which seemed far longer to me). It was at the end of the day, and she said "Alright you have a good weekend, I'll see you on Monday." "Monday?" "Yes, I'm on vacation these next two days." "Oh, well I hope you still have your job when you get back, I know a particular kid who moving fast in this company."

Finally, since we're on the topic of quotes:
Rowela. 8:40 pm 5/11/05
"Its not my fault your banana is unnaturally gigantic!"

The Closet is Remaining Closed for Renovations

I could rush to my defense and give you a list of reasons of how Scott and I do not have gay tendencies... but that's what anyone else would do. And I am NOT just anyone else.

1. I cook as payment for my "room and board." Today was Scott's night to cook, we ended up going to La Bamba's.
2. Scott cleans. That's just the rule, I don't clean. As I was typing this line I heard Scott say from the back room: "I dusted the hell out of this place... And the bathroom? Spotless... (silence) Wait, what is that?"
3. Scott isn't allowed to go grocery shopping by himself, today when I got back to the apartment we had 50 bottles of Propel Fitness Water.
4. Thus far, our only guests in the house have been 7 males.
5. Tomorrow night we're hosting a "Smallville" party.

Anyways, Update on the hot girl at work. I've decided that she looks a bit like Mila Kunis. She is far from a twin mind you, just "reminds me" of her. I'm gonna try and get a closer look tomorrow and maybe I'll sneak a peek at her name badge next week so I can get a name. I hope I can do that without having to make actual eye contact first, that's not until week 3.

And Kim, I found the "Kim" at the new job. From what I can tell, pretty cynical but Kim let me tell you. And I mean this in all honesty, she is NO replacement for you Kim. She's just lacks the finesse. That and well, everything else that matters. I dunno Kim, she's just kinda missing the sparkle in the eye. So that's all I got there.

Anyways, more tomorrow as always. I love the commenter standings. Keep the good comments coming! Later!

A late night post after my first day at "work"

The Future
Here's the question: How many of my new fellow co-workers will I convert into future R.O.S. bloggites? Now, how can I know who is safe to ridicule on the world wide web for all to see, and who will come back into these archives and find out that i called them a booger-eating twit? Well, its probably best i try and keep things as optomistic as possible anyways, right? Well So here it is.

The Job
I spent all day "training" today... An all day training session at a data entry job is a little much. Here's the difference between Data Entry at American Water Resources and at my new job. At AWR we picked up stacks of 30 applications at a time, now I pick up batches of 3 at a time. Each file I enroll is about an inch and a half thick. People average 10 enrollments an hour. So, that's enough about specifics.

The People
My Trainer, whom I spent all day with, reminds me a lot of Greg (AWR people know what I'm talking about). Good story about my boss that Kimmy will especially like... she only spent about 5 minutes checking in on me halfway through the day. I, at the moment, was very confused about what I was doing so I stopped and turned to face her. I smiled really big and was like, "I've got some really big news... I'm REALLY good at this." She smiled and I saw that as my opening. There are little pins are my trainers wall (little work incentives). "I hope you have some more of those pins back there for me, I'm about to set records." She laughed and said, "Really? Its a shame then that Temps are elligable." "Yeah?" I said, "Well then I'll just have to steal {the trainers}." She laughed again and said "Alright, I gotta get back to work." Ahh Kimmy... it's good to be cute. You might want to call these new guys up and warn them about me.

The Hot Girl*
Also I've already identified the hot girl at work. I'm already got a 4 week plan in the works. I've already identfied her, that was the first step. Soon I'm gonna figure out where her desk is. And then her name. I figure by the end of the four weeks I'll say hi.

In Conclusion
Anyways, that's all I got for now it's late and I have to work again tomorrow, you guys will just have to be patient until I get a steady place to stay. I will update every night if I can, and I will update standings when I post. Until next time, LATER!

*Hot girl is "hot" only by comparison to my other co-workers, and not by any gauge other than that. My girlfriend on the other hand is beautiful by all standards. ;)

Hmmm... life on the run makes this difficult.

I know how those criminals must feel. "The Man" breathing down your neck at every turn. Never knowing where you're gonna wake up. It also makes blogging a bit of a challenge. I'll have you know that I only have an estimated 7 minutes before the authorities realize that I am NOT in fact an ISU student and shouldn't be able to use their comptuers here at the coffee shop where Ro is working. So I have to be brief.

First off, my girlfriend is beautiful. Just throwing that out there.

Secondly, I'm trying to coordinate too much at once right now. Just got my transcripts send to UIS. Kidnapping Ro as soon as she gets off work (in a few minutes). In this short window of time, I'm posting. Then booking it to Springfield to help Josh move a chair or something into his new apartment. Then I'm gonna eat dinner with the family in Jerseyville and meet up with Phil afterwards.

Thirdly, Scott looks amazing in the mornings. Not like my girlfriend looks amazing right now, this is a whole different sort of amazing. He'll post a picture sometime shortly after reading this I'm sure, or if not, I'll get one for you.

I start work on Monday, Hooray! Have a great weekend.

So much for working today.

Alright, So I quit my new job. Alright, so that's not true. They called me and said that the person who was to train me wasn't gonna be in today, so I've been put off until Monday. So what am I doing today? Organizing some paperwork... going to UIS to finalize my loan deferments... yeah, I'm doing all that. But what else am I doing? Playing Mario Kart and Super Smash Brothers with like 7 guys from Scott's College. Let me say this for the record: Scott sucks at both of the before mentioned video games. He's also the worst host ever. Seriously, I haven't had breakfast yet.

Anyways, I guess I'm a hippie now. I wish I just had a big molester van to live out of. I've got two hampers in my trunk, one for clean clothes and one for dirty. I'm a regular vagabond; I'm a nomad, and it's awesome. I'm now torn however... I should be clean shaven and such for work, but I want to do the unshaven, unkempt, hippie thing as well. And these are the sorts of things that I think about now.

So how much do you guys like the Commenter's Standings? Good idea, huh?

Ro's Profile Pic

Sorry, I don't know ways to host pictures for people's profiles without actually using them in a post. This is the picture for Ro's Profile. No comment needed.

On the road again...

Like I told Josh not 5 minutes ago. Living out of my car for the next few should be nothing after backpacking Europe. So I'm going to put two hampers in my trunk, one for clean clothes and one for dirty. I'm making a bed roll to make it easier to bed hop. Also I'm including a mini-library in my car (the links are simply to Amazon.com descriptions): The Culture of Fear, Tuesdays with Morrie, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, and McSweeney's Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories.

Tonight and tomorrow night I'm staying with Scott. Is this a bad plan? probably. Will it be entertaining? Definately. I told him I'd cook in return for my stay. Let's see how long it takes mom and dad to notice that my rice cooker and the extra wok is missing. And this weekend I'm hanging out with the girliefriend. Ro is going to be gone all summer at a camp for people with special needs, and to help stay in touch she is... this almost brings a tear to my eye... my girlfriend is going to... Have a Blog! There's nothing on it now, but in a few weeks I imagine you can expect greatness. Anyways, everything after this weekend is still pretty fuzzy, but I think I should be given credit to have things figured out that far in advance.

I also see this as an opportunity to get a feel for what it will be like, campaigning on the road. I'll have to reach out to those swing states you know. I've also been thinking a lot about your requests to be on my staff. I've decided there's a place for everyone. Adam, you did request Foreign Affairs and it seems you've ran unchallenged, also you can temporarly hold Secretary of State as well, seeing that I have yet to fill that spot. And I've spoken with Mexico, they seem hesitant to give up the Yucatan Peninsula, but I think we can "change their minds." Oh, I will enjoy that little red button. Freemama, you are my running mate. One of your jobs is going to be to help Adam and I do match ups. We're talking America vs. Mexico, America vs. North Korea, America vs. Paris Hilton, etc. I need the best minds in the field working on this.

But that's all for now. I've got to pack. Later!

And that expression, ladies and gentlemen, we call: "Smug"

New City =
New Photo +
New Layout +
New Descriptions +
New Commentor Standings Section!!!

Anyone else like the smell of gas fumes as a child?

I was at a gas station getting mentally prepared to pay for my $40 quarter tank of gas, when I was doing my usual lap around the store. I always check out the little trinkets and check out the newest crap they can find to slap on Dale Ernhardt Jr.'s Number, or what cutting edge new design they can dream up for a lighter. My most recent favorite lighters are the ones that are micro-torches, as opposed to regular lighters. And when I say "favorite" I mean "I hate them 'cause I've burnt myself with them at least twice." In case you're not familiar with what I'm talking about these lighters don't give the little yellow flame, but instead an powerful, invisible, roaring one that reminds me of a fighter jet engine. Of course my first encounter with one of these I just HAD to put my finger over the spot where I thought the flame should have been, only to lose the first 2 layers of skin on my fingertip.

The only other item of note I've seen in the trinket section was just two days ago, when I came across some more of those infamous rubber bracelets. They're not even trying anymore, this one just said "Support a Cure." Pick a cure, any cure, and that's where you can pretend the money for this bracelet went! *sigh* Yeah, a small percentage of the profits probably went to something admirable... but they're no denying its just someone trying to jump on the money making machine that is "The Rubber Bracelets."

Finally, I came across the magazine racks. This was a little while ago, but still relevant. After a few moments of seeing whats going on in every hobby known to man, I came across the filth section. No, not the black-bagged pornos, those are "Highlights" magazines compared to what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the Media Gossip Magazines. The "Who Wore What Where" magazines and the "Who Went With Whom" Scandals. And in usual fashion I read all of the headlines on the cover. Didn't take me more than a few seconds to realize that I had been underestimating these magazines all along. I was speechless. That ill-fated day, that day that will live in personal infamity, I will always remember that gas station as being where I was when I found out: "Brad admits that last few days were a Living Nightmare!!"

I wanted to grab the slightly elderly lady next to me who was also reading over a similar magazine and shake her. "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??" But that wouldn't be enough, I would need to run out into the parking lot and shout to the world "IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR AMERICA?! NOW ARE YOU SATISFIED?!" Seriously, is the general American public just SO miserable that they couldn't stand hearing about a civil and decent seperation between two people? Everyone wanted to hear how bad it was for ol' Brad and Jen... and now they got it.

Sometimes, I can't stand people.

P.S. I'll respond to all of your political suggestions and such tomorrow, I must weigh these things carefully you know.

Just Another Manic Monday

So "work" said we were shooting on a Thursday start date. I'm upset 'cause I won't be allowed to access the internet from work to blog. They made me sign a RIDICULOUS internet form covering everything from no checking email to no keystroke monitors or password cracking programs. This was thorough. So I'll be forced to type up blog entries in a word document and post them when I get the chance. Also I won't actually have a place to live the next few weeks. I want to have some money saved up and idea of the stability of this job before I commit to a lease. That means I'll be spending time up in Bloomington with Ro and probably bed hopping between some of you suckers who offered me a place to crash. I'll be in touch with you all later, about that.

Also since I'm going to school to get a masters in Political Science, I figure that guarantees me a spot for presidency. Now I'm going to be thinking up my cabinet pretty soon, you all may want to start offering those bribes and favors at any time here. The only thing I've decided is that Scott will NOT be on my foreign affairs committee. Seriously, that kid has no control and if you put him in a room with a representative from every nationality he won't stop until WWIII.

I also guess that means I'll have to start watching what I type on this blog. No doubt my opponents will try and "Misquote" me. So, what do you think is the most damning thing to my career that I've said thus far? Man, Melinda... remember the Big Checks that I always hated sorting through at AWR? Imagine how BIG my checks will be when I'm president. That will be awesome! And yes, I will maintain this blog while I'm president. You guys will always have the inside line. Geeze... why doesn't the president have a blog. That should be required. anyway, gotta shower. Later!