So far we have Me, the cheeky narrator, who relays the exciting stuff to you, the reader. Other characters thus far have included "The Boss" as well as "The Hot Girl." Well folks its time I introduced you to "The Irritating argumentative Know-it-all" (Tiakia.) Why must every office place environment have one of these? I think they just come with the building, or some union clause, or something. Tiakia sits right on the other side of the 5 ft tall "wall" that my cubicle is against. Have you ever heard a high pitched ringing in your ears, or at night heard water dripping somewhere, and it soon becomes the only thing you can hear?!? That's how it always goes with me and Tiakia's everywhere. Here's what she educated all of us about today:
Apparently the problem with everything in the world today is with our current police and judicial systems; too much red tape, too many loop holes. So the only logical solution to this problem is, and I quote, "Vigilanteism." If regular people could just hire vigilantes to take care of people who have wronged them (and by take care she DEFINITELY meant kill) there would be far less problems in the world. She had it all worked out, they would be like US Marshals - certified and such. After arguing this for ten minutes I experienced a euphoric sort of silence that lasted about a half hour. Then apparently someone flicked a rubber and she went on a tirade about how she literally could have lost an eye. She initially just used the cliche, but after the other person was like "Whatever, it wouldn't have poked your eye out." Tiakia felt challenged and went off. Mind you she was taking up the argument that it would have bounced off the monitor, then the wall, to achieve the right angle to go in through the side (around her glasses) to SLAM into her eyeball, popping it out of socket. I wanted to hit her in the back of the head with a shovel and make both of them pop out.
Anyone else deal with this? And Kimmy, how are our little chatter boxes at AWR?
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4 comments:
Yes Rob every office has one of those employees. The less said to those people the better. She obviously always plays the victim in every circumstance and that is why she never gets justice. Don’t hit her with a shovel; she will put a hit out on you.
You do seem to have a lot of characters at your work place. That makes it interesting though. You need to find the funny guy that everybody likes, the practical joker type
And elaborate on him (or her)….. Have a great day! Mom F
Yeah. I got that chick fired.
Yeah she sounds really annoying....while reading this and her reaction to the rubber band it reminded me of Seinfeld and the "Magic Loogie" ~ "A wad of spit capable of traveling great distances and performing various turns, deflections and pauses."
By the way I have a shovel.
Breyn
Somebody flicked a "rubber" at her? Heh heh heh. Were they propositioning her? Was it plain, or ribbed for her pleasure? Now if it were studded I could see her argument. That's just dangerous, seriously. Some things just shouldn't be studded.
Anyway, I mostly wanted to post to thank Ro for the cinnamon rolls I found in the kitchen today. I'm assuming they were for me because I ate them all. And let me tell you, they were delicious. So thanks to Ro for that. And doing the dishes. Seriously, we're going to start paying you.
Anyway, I'm out for now. Later kids.
- Scott
P.S. Look forward to my Star Wars adventures I had at the premire last night. It'll be a great post.
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