I'm Rene (with one e) a.k.a. QB, short for Queen Bee. I rule the mail and enrollments. I am a co-worker of Rob's. In the short time I have known Rob, I have come to the understanding that there is no one on this earth quite like him. Oh, you might be able to say that about everyone; but, there are a lot of people that conform to certain rules, clothes, music, etc. Not Rob, he is unique and totally awesome!
(Ahem... you forgot to mention "Hot." But you did well enough, keep that up and consider that $5 yours. ) Now you said he didn't conform to rules... what did you mean by that? Any examples?
Well, let's see.... I could probably write a novel on that question. I'll give you a couple of examples though. Most of the young 20's I have met recently listen to a lot of the same popular music and Rob also listens to it because he is very well rounded; however, one of his favorite types of music is swing. He has us listening to it while we open mail. Freemama is even working on her Charleston (which is really more ragtime/jazz, but, we don't want to disappoint her).
Another example...While most of us here at AWR work eight and a half or nine hour days and get paid for eight, Rob works seven and a half and gets paid for seven and a half. He still gets the same breaks. In fact , he takes more breaks than anyone else here. Go Rob!! I'm still really surprised micro-boss lets him get away with that. But, then, we are talking about Rob.
Hey, if they’re gonna be a pain in the ass and give him a system, he’s gonna find a way to work it. I’ve also heard that he filled a cabinet with packing peanuts, runs his website on the clock, does more arts n’ crafts than enrollments, has porn in his desk, and frankly… does about 15 minutes of actual work a day. This is just what I’ve heard… It sounds to me like he’s a drain on the company as a whole, than a benefit. Whycome don’t you just turn him in and get him fired? Wouldn’t that just be doing the world a favor?
While all the things stated are very true and it may be beneficial to AWR if they were to part ways, Rob is the only reason I come to work every day. Well to be totally honest Rob and the little amount of money they give me are the only reasons. He brings new interests and humor to our day. Without that, it would just be a boring, repetitive, did I say boring job.
*Dramatic Pause while I wipe the tear from my eye*
Touching story Rene, I think the rights have already been sold to ABC. So who do you think should play Rob in the Made for TV movie, and who should play you?
Well, the part of Rene should be played by Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond. We share close age, stature, smart-a** personalities. Now for Rob...boy that's tuff..I would like to say Matthew Broderick because Rob is Ferris Bueller..too old though. I would also like it to be Johnnie Depp. He's my personal favorite and oh so hot, like Rob...still too old. There's also Tim Ezell from Fox 2 News, kinda wacky...getting closer. I just can't decide....maybe we should ask everyone else what they think.
I would have to say Luke Wilson… from Old School. But hey, that’s just me. Anyways, it’s about time to wrap this up, however I still have one question for you. You see, I feel like somehow we haven’t really gotten to the meat and potatoes of this interview yet. I want to make sure that all of our readers will walk away from this with a real solid grasp of who you are. We know you’re a smart-a**, we know that you’re a bit OCD, wait, we didn’t cover that? Oh well, you are, and that’s ok. But we need to get below this superficial questioning… We have to know WHO RENE IS. So Rene, What (being as truthful as you can be), is your favorite Movie?
My favorite movie is of course anything with Johnnie Depp. It doesn't even have to be a good movie. He's just wonderful to watch. Airplane is a close second, lots of familiar faces, lot of one liners (the start of the great 1980's movies). And rounding out the top three The Jerk with Steve Martin. I didn't like it the first time I saw it, but after watching it like 100 times (Rob did mention I'm OCD) it really grew on me. He didn't mention, however, I'm indecisive. I could have some new favorites tomorrow.
Gee, in that list we should also include: Doesn’t follow directions very well. I said ONE movie, you gave me THREE! Bah, fine. Whatever. This interview is over. I’d like to thank my guess Milton… I mean, Rene, for joining us today. I want everyone to feel free to ask follow up questions. As always its been a pleasure. And this is Rob, signing off. Later!
15 comments:
I would just like to make a comment about Rob's made for TV movie that should be airing later in the year on ABC. My suggestions for actors to play Rob would either be Andy Dick, he's a skinny querky little guy not unlike Rob (he played Garry the oral sex instructor on Old School), or maybe even Pauly Shore.
Breyn :)
I feel like you're calling me unattractive, ambigous and slightly annoying...
eh, I've been called worse.
I dunno, I'd have to agree with Rene's suggestion of Tim Ezell to play Rob. It's uncanny really. Unfortunately, I would have to play myself, because Chris Farley is dead, and he's the only actor who wouldve been appropriate. Tim would have to be CGI, as I can't think of any actors with a big enough head.
As a side note, I'd have to say Andy Dick is a whole lot more than just slightly annoying.
Trevor
An after thought... I would like to inject "Triumph the Comic Insult Dog" as a potential cast memeber. Simply because I like his work.
No not at all...you are very handsome indeed...just small gangly and hairy (but your face makes up for that :) haha) Ok...ive given this some thought and I acutally could see Toby McGuire (from Spiderman) playing your part....he's a little guy but he's also definately cute!
Breyn :)
I've said it before, but I think Orlando Bloom might have the right look to play Rob. Although I've never seen him do anything funny except fall down, and that's pretty much always funny.
I have to say, this is the first interview I've ever read where at the end of it you know more about the interviewer than the interviewee. It's like I just watched a magic trick, I was completely mis-directed. I thought I was going to read an article about Rene, but it turned out to be a Rob-expose. If that's what you were going for, bravo. A+- Gold Star.
- Scott
PJ(1): I have to say that your suggestions for "who should play Rob" are better than another person whom I won't name (but as an unrelated sidenote, Bryen - you should check out PJ's suggestions). So I applaud you for that.
Scott: One thing I will never call you Scott, is unobservant. Well except for the time you thought the girl was giving you a cold shoulder, and she just ended up being deaf. Other than that my friend, you always bring your A-Game to the table. Congrats.
PJ(2): You should take note of the (Ahem... you forgot to mention "Hot." But you did well enough, keep that up and consider that $5 yours.) Or you already did and we're simply reitterating.
Of course this was about me. Everything is always about me. And one day you will all bow before me. Have a nice day.
I think that HOT guy from 'Smallville' should play the part of Rob, because Rob is HOT. He's so HOT he's melting my half-cubicle with his HOT-ness. He's so HOT he's makin' me thirsty.
However, I am concerned that he has molested a rubber chicken and is trying to cover up the evidence with masking tape. The chicken is VERY hurt by the pain Rob has inflicted on it. To use a rubber chicken in that manner and then to just throw it out on the table in full view of everyone is disgusting. I've already reported Rob to the National Poultry Association, and they are thankfully checking in to this. It's disgusting. He might be HOT, but he needs help. You sick chicken f'er.
~A Tisket a Tasket, Kit Kat's in my basket
I just want to say that I to have witnessed robs molestation of the chicken. AHHH you should of heard the screams that poor little chicken made when Rob was abusing it. It will haunt my dreams forever. Rob I truly hope that you can get the help you need to stop this fascination you have with the rubber chicken.
Tim
These allegations that I have, recently or ever, abused a chicken are completely outrageous. I am in no way attracted to chickens, rubber or otherwise, in a sexual or masochistic context. Frankly I thought you were all above this. Bastards.
I would love to see Orlando Bloom play the part of Rob in the made-for-TV movie. Not because they resemble each other, but because Orlando Bloom is TOTALLY hot! I'd watch him in any movie!
I have been thinking all day and I truly have just not found your equal in Hollywood...it's so hard to find anyone like Rob!
Yah, I learned nothing about Rene, other than she spells her name weird....
Tabitha
WAIT! I've got it! Since movies take FOREVER to make...give him 5ish more years and Daniel Radcliff's your guy!
Tabitha
Ugh! Rob, I'm disgusted by your blatant act of rubber chicken violation. And, to think, you came up with such a great "explanation" for the masking tape diaper it was wearing today. Blaming your Mom & Sister for throwing it in the pool...shame on you. Kim, I'm glad you got to the...errr...bottom of this.
I think Rene would be best portrayed by Karen, from Will & Grace. At least she'd be funnier than that chick from Raymond. As far as Rob goes, I'm seeing David Byrne for some reason.
Stay tuned for Rob's next "interview", maybe we'll learn why he feels the need to talk about himself so much...hehe...
Jen-
1. This interview was great! I really enjoyed it.
2. Rene I too use to be called QB for Queen Bee
when I worked at Shop N Save.......
I ran the front end of the store and they called
me Q or QB... very funny. That must be why
Rob likes you so much.....
3. The chicken was not thrown in the pool,
he was sat on the back side of the pool deck,
then he was abandoned for days threw the torrential
rains. After trying to be saved Rob threw him into
a sink of hot water to thaw his frozen little body
out (he could hardly make a sound) and then laid
the chicken around for days letting him drain and
once in a while Rob would squeeze him until he
screamed. I thought the poor thing died until this
morning when I saw him wrap it up in his leg
brace to smuggle him into the office space.
Mom French
I think Don Knotts should play Rob. But then again, I think Don Knotts should play everyone. He's that good.
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