I hate my roommate

That's right. I hate him. Trying to understand him makes my head hurt. The sight of him induces nausea. The sound of his voice is second only to the sound of Gilmore Girls, and that's the antsy, akwardness that you feel in your chest much like when sitting passanger to someone who can't drive very well and you fear for your life. I told him I was going to blog about how much I hated him right now, and that exactly what I'm doing. I didn't make a sandwich because Scott said he was hungry so we were going to eat a frozen pizza. Yes it is 10:30 at night, but we're hungry. Anyways. He turned on the oven, he prepped the pizza plate (more on this later), I thought it was only safe to assume he was going to put the pizza in the oven. But did he?? NO HE FORGOT!!!

He doesn't do dishes very often either. I hate him for that too... sometimes instead of doing the dishes he's admitted to hiding them in the oven (Sometimes forgetting they're in there when he preheats days later). Also I hate him for not cleaning the pizza plate. He has also admitted to wrapping it in aluminum foil when it gets dirty, repeating this process until he has to take it to the car wash and power spray it clean.

I also hate him for beating me in Unreal Tournament. And I hate him for using big words I don't understand, and referencing obsecure (or better known) celebrities and I have to pretend I know what the hell he's talking about. And I hate him for getting a free ride at his college. And I hate him for... Well EVERYTHING!!!! He's nazi-crap monger!

My Knight in Shameless Armor

So last night I lay in bed, eyes closed, thinking about the sort of things that the troubled youth of today think about whilst laying in bed late at night. At some point I turned over on my awesomely not-exactly-comfortable sofabed and my eyes drifted open in the dark room. Not much light but the glow of the streetlight coming through my closed blinds but as I lay there staring, a thought tickled the back of my mind. I didn't even fully recognize it at first but soon the shadow of what seemed to be my desk lamp falling backwards on the miniblinds shifted. There shouldn't have been a shadow from the lampshade falling that direction at all, let alone moving.

I sat up in bed. Nope, wasn't a trick of the eyes. There was a definate shadow moving around just at the edge of my window... close. I screamed a shrill scream of the 18 year old cheerleader in the slasher films. Ok, that's a lie. But I did get out of bed to investigate. I walked around the window to the opposite side of the shadow and peered through the gap at the side of the window. There was a man, crouched down, at my window at half past midnight. So I opened the door to my room and called Scott away from the internet porn or whatever he was doing on the internet.

"Psst... Scott. Come here."
"Huh?" Scott got up and headed towards my room.
"There's a guy outside my window."
Obviously torn between wanting to check it out for himself and not wanting to get shot in the face when he peered through the blinds, he paused a moment before going to the window. "Oh, that's the crazy guy we saw walking his cat the other day."

I vaguely remembered seeing an older guy in the landscaping outside the building just a few days prior, but I had written him off as a gardener. Oddly enough I took "Crazy guy who we've seen before" as a safe enough answer and we left it at that. Scott left and I went to back to bed. With the crazy guy and his cat standing guard outside my window.

The Triple Threat

So today was the first day I actually did it. All three in one day. 9-12 at Bunn, 1-6:30 Best Buy and 7-11 at fireworks. I am exhausted. This post sucks. I can't think. Ummmm... Money is good. That's my mantra. You should really try it sometime. Just sit back, close your eyes, put your hands in a relaxed Buddist like position and go "Ummmmm..... OOoo-ahhhh-ummmmm..... Moooooneeeeey Iiiiiiiiis Gooooooooood-ah." Very therapudic.

I'd also like to make a link to this particular Penny Arcade comic strip, because that is SO me. Money is good, outside is bad.

One final Triple Threat I'd like to acknowledge would be the 3 decades that the AWR Team mentioned. Freemama vs. Old Man Time, Congraduations on the big 30 Melinda! And Kimmy don't worry, you don't look a day over 29 and a half.

I wish I still had that blue and red mat...

you know, the one from kindergarden you have for naptime? Just think if you could bust that out anywhere you want during the day when you get 15 minutes to kill. When I used to work at Ralcorp Holdings, I kept a pillow and found a mini space heater I'd curl up with on lunch hours. But anyways, I had a nice nap today. I had my first "Meeting" at Best Buy and let me tell you... these videos they make you sit through are PAINFUL. I don't know if it's worse than just some boring thing that every other company makes you watch or not. Best Buy videos are star people who are acting like Jim Carey and Jack Black and such and it's awlful. The pain comes from they lose whatever message they're trying to tell you in all the horribly overplayed up theatrics. I can't tell you what it was about today, other than the X-Men were in it, and The Sorting Hat was trying to sell Harry Potter a new PC for school.

Anyways after my Sunday Morning Meeting (in which we all had to come in uniform at 8am even though we'd all be gone before the store opened at 11am), I went to work at the fireworks factory. Had Best Buy not taken 3 hours this morning for our "Meeting" I would have been able to gone and helped set up for a fireworks display tonight, and learned all about everything. But NOOoooo... Because BB took so much of my time, I had to miss out to help out with preping fireworks for other shows.
Oh, and I'm sure I'll have some awesome BB customer stories for you in the near future. As much as it sounds like a standard computer-techy joke, I honestly had some 18 year old kid come into the store and more or less asked me which isle the internet was on. But the thing of it was, he wasn't asking me... he was TELLING me. He needed to buy wireless internet, he already had a router and modem and PCI card and cables and everything else he's heard someone say at one point or another. He wanted to buy the internet. He made my head hurt a little bit.

Firestarters

So everyone says I'm a pyro. So were would be the best/worst place for me to work? Well "Rob's Job #3" may fulfill this very question. The nights that I don't work at Best Buy, I'm now working at a fireworks factory. I'll wait a moment for mom to recover.





ok.

So my best friend Lisa got me a job with her aunt and uncle, whom I've met many times, with their family business. They do all the city fireworks displays in central-southern Illinois. They do Jerseyville's displays, and Alton's including First Night. They do all sporting events, and other things as well. But to but mom a bit at ease, I don't actually "make" fireworks. We buy them from China (of course) but we put together shows and prep the fireworks where I work. We unload the truckloads and we attached electric fuses. Mainly we slice the regular fuses open and insert a special wire with a mini sparkplug at the end. We use aluminum blades and scissors to prevent possiblity of sparks, that could be caused with metal.... allegidly (apparently they've tried to ignite fuses in all sorts of ways in past, always to no avail). All saftey procautions are taken, even if there's little proof that there is a risk.

Anyways, I'm learning all sorts of awesome stuff. For example: trucks labeled "Explosive 1.4" means they're carrying the kind of fireworks you get at firework tents... bottle rockets and roman candles and such. "Explosive 1.3" means the heavy duty ones that we deal with at our place, BIG fireworks. "Explosive 1.2" is used for explosions with projectiles, like ammunition. "Explosion 1.1" is dynamite.

So that's the update. I work at Bunn in the morning, and my first real day at Best Buy tomorrow night. I'll let you know how that goes!

Pulling the Strings

So, what do I post about? How about the time I almost put chapstick on my armpits... no, already did that. How about my day at work? Wait, I work in solitary in a walled-off section of the cafeteria... I don't see anyone. Moreover, I'm only working 4-5 hours a day now. So that means I'm gonna reach into the old bag and see what I come out with.

I've got some questions, and where's a better place to address them than on my blog. Personally, I believe that everyone is a bit manipulative at some point or another. Lets say you have something you want to tell someone, but it's tricky and you don't want to come out of no where, so you figure out a way to work into it. Or you don't want to tell them, so you try and make it so they figure it out themselves. I do this all the time. One thing I always have done since highschool was to hold mock conversations with people in my head. I used to do it when I worked at the restaurant in Jerseyville all the time. I'd get into arguments with the customers over random things (lots of times things would get violent and I'd figure out the best way to win without "fighting"). I guess that's a bit different than manipulative, but it's in the same vein. Look at me at work. I actively go out of my way to figure ways to win over the bosses and such without being obvious.

Is that different than being manipulative. In highschool I used to try and pass off a saying that "Life was a game that people just need to figure out how to play." I never try to hurt or take advantage of someone. I don't try and undermine people. I try and raise myself, not put down others. I think there's a difference to what I conciously do all the time and being manipulative. The latter has such a negative condintation, and I don't think that's right. Anyways, what do you think? Think its wrong to try and get ahead like I did at my last job? Know a better word for it? Do you ever do the same, even if you don't put as much thought into it? Do I think entirely too highly of myself? Come on people, that's enough questions for like like 10 comments right there.

My Armpits are Chap-Free

You know you're working yourself too hard when you mistake chapstick for my deodorant. That's right, last night after my shower, after I pulled out my sofabed. I came within an inch of putting chapstick on as deodorant. I'm going to claim its because I'm working two jobs and am a busy man, but lets face it, I'm an idiot. All I could think was "Wow."

I had my first double workday yesterday, with my Best Buy orientation after my day at Bunn. There was 4 of us being trained and our trainer/manager was very good humored, so I think I'll be ok as far as management is concerned. But that most interesting thing was that I saw a once-fellow employee from Wells Fargo there. I actually didn't place him at first, he brought it up and I was like "Yeah! that's it. I knew I recognized you." According to him, WF let 80 people go. Actually cleared out an entire wing of the building. So that was awesome.

I work at BB this weekend (Fri & Sat) and actually looking forward to it. It's my job to walk around and talk to people. I don't make comission or anything, and I can stay on top of all the new gadgets. We'll see what I think about it in a month from now. Of course in a month from now my employee discount kicks in, so yeah, I guess in a month we'll see if I'm really making money there or not. Anyways, Breaks almost over so I'm going to get back to my good old unstable data entry job trend.

Have a great Tuesday!

~ The kid in the Cafeteria ~

Eye Opening Experiences

So I’ve got 3 bits of news that was big to me, and 1 that is big to a friend of mine and I’ll share here.

1. Work at Bunn seems less and less long term every minute. So, besides my makeshift cubicle in the cafeteria I don’t hear a lot of talk about the “long run.” The bigger problem that I foresee is my work dwindling down so that I can’t make a full 8 hour day out of it, so they’ll put me on half days at some point. Following that by deciding they don’t need me after all. And it’s one of those deals where there’s nothing I could do about it, I’m just going to run out of work. It’s a good thing I have Best Buy, right??
2. One of my favorite movies of all time, Swingers, is apparently based on true events. The main characters in the movie, who are playing unemployed actors who are all friends and trying to have luck with the ladies… we’re really playing themselves. Many of the monologues were actual things said in real life, the clubs and casinos were all real (as well as the cop in the background of one of the casino scenes, who moments afterwards escorted the crew out of the building). All in all, it makes that movie all the better in my eyes.
3. And this is some very big news. Although I really don’t want to feel like a gossip hound, but lets face it… if someone that you went to highschool with became a somewhat successful actor, wouldn’t you mention it in your blog? Why should it be different if that person became a somewhat successful porn star? I’ll have Scott make a link to our friend Jacob’s Blog who did all the investigative “research.” Note: Jacob’s site is all text, and fine to visit… but most of the links takes you to… lets say… “Examples of work” so don’t click on the links at Jacob’s site while you’re at work if you want to find out more about our new famous Jerseyvillian.

And finally, the news from someone else’s life. My best friend Lisa Fischer (DePauw) has just bought a house with her husband John. This was very unexpected, even for them, so Congrats guys!

P.S. I wrote this… from work!

A Day for Beginings

Seriously, I love trying to come up with cheesy titles for my entries. Tonight Scott, Jacob and I went to see Batman Begins. As drastic as some of the changes seemed, I really liked the new Batman. His car is even cooler (and a hell of a lot more practical). I mean, look at the tires on that thing compared to the sports car he drove before. And the batsuit? Hooray for No Nipples!

But the other "Begining" was my new job. I'm not a receptionist, that was a misunderstanding on my part. I do data entry. I am also a one man team. They gave me my own office. Ok, so when I say office I mean room divided out of the cafeteria with fake wall partitians... but it's my own space. Its pretty nice. Work is easy, and no one watches me. YOU KNOW what that means, Rob's Office Space will once again be true to its name!!! I WILL blog from work again!!!!

I was gonna blog about how Jacob Eyers looks like this old wrestler, but I lost interest.

Partying like a Rock Star!

So my job has been postponed yet another day. They really like doing that to me, but it's ok. Things got a little wild and crazy yesterday on my day off anyways. One of my best friends, Lisa, came up for the day from the St. Louie Area. And we had some awesome adventures. Like trying to find this place out in the middle of BFE, where I had to go pee in a cup. I'm getting tired of this peeing in a cup thing. Mainly, I'm getting tired of waiting until I have to pee and then getting in my car and searching for this random little hut, where after a half hour of driving there's a sign on the door that says "Must wait 15 minutes before giving sample." I still don't understand what the hell that was about. The icing on the cake is that there is a fill line on the cup. So now not only do I have to pee like a race horse ('cause they obviously really gotta go) but I have to cut it off once I've barely started. And despite what I've heard girls claim, it's not Easier for guys to pinch it off... I swear sometimes I think you assume we can tie it off or something. The one thing I WILL give you credit for is I bet it's a lot easier for us to get it in the cup in the first place.

All that aside, I made dinner for Lisa and we watched Shaloin Soccer. Both of which, she loved. And I love the new wok. After she left I did a bit of cleaning up and then played videogames with Tim. Seeing as that I didn't have to work, I'll admit we played for quite some time (probably 3 am). After which I had drank so much tea and munchies I wasn't really tired. So I read for a while, Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time Series (if you like JRR Tolken I recommend it). And admittedly I read for a long while. When I was done I took a shower, a LONG shower. And when I got out I was confused because I didn't remember leaving the lights on in the apartment. Oh wait, that was the sun coming up. So yeah... a night of Stirfry, Movies, Videogames, Hot Tea and reading... That's what a rockstar's life is, isn't it?.

Ah well, just incase nothing about my life as of late was interesting enough to bring a smile to your face, I'm quite sure THIS will.

The Blue Suit Strikes Back!

Alright, so I was off my game for a little while here. Not all my fault, the internet was down at our place until about 5pm. But I'll bring you up to speed: I'm employed. Not one, but TWO jobs. I start Wednesday at Bunn-o-Matic doing receptionist stuff 8:30-4:30. I pee'd in a cup today for Best Buy, and I'm going to work there on nights and weekends. I wore my Blue Power Suit to the interview on Saturday and got hired on the spot. THAT'S how awesome I am. And if this receptionist job is one of those jobs where I have spare time, we can hope I can update from work again - cause it's just easier when I'm being paid to blog.

I was SO excited about the new job I went shopping. I got two pairs of Khakis from Walmart (Best Buy Uniform), I paid Scott rent money (I bet he's happy), I went grocery shopping AND I bought a new Wok!!! It's a beautiful thing, being employed (and the wok too). By the way, if anyone out there likes Stirfry, I've got a few AWESOME recipes.

And for final important news...
I was able to see Ro this weekend which was wonderful. And something else that's wonderful: She's now maintaining her own blog! So everyone can encourage her and read about the ridiculousness and goings-on at her camp. I'd rather you comment on hers than mine, she's far away. For those of you who don't know, she's working at a camp for people with special needs in Iowa all summer, and her cell phone doesn't even work out there. So that probably explains my random "Missing Ro" posts.

"What is going on?!?"

That's the tag line from my all time favorite "reality show" ever: The Joe Schmoe Show. I hate reality TV, but this was so much better. The people you hate, are actors and the one guy who doen't realize it's fake, is the nicest guy in the world and everyone loves him. In my opinion greatest reality show EVER. I'll admit my reality show experience is quite slim. I say my first episode of Survivor this year, and was captivated only 'cause of Stephenie. But I missed the next episode and she was apparently voted off, so I've now sworn off the show for another 10 years. And other than a few scattered episodes of "Blind Date" that's all I got.

But anyways, the reason for the title... Quick update. I've got two potential jobs coming up next week, and I'll see if I can work them both out. So I can be a receptionist during the day for the Bunn Corporate offices and work at Best Buy part time. My credit card bill says it's a good idea. I go for a drug test for Bunn Monday, and my interview for Best Buy is Saturday night.

The interview sucks 'cause Ro is coming home this weekend. So I'm driving up there tonight and will see her like 9pm tonight to 2pm tomorrow. But if that's all I can get, that's great! So yeah, I'm gonna be leaving soon for that. In the meantime: Has anyone ever heard of "Auctions 4 a Cause"? I'm not endorsing this website, 'cause I don't know the story with it. But it's definatly interesting. I expect it very well could be legit, I just don't know it for sure yet. Have a great weekend!

Rob and Sex Symbols

Nothing recent really triggered this, but I thought I'd cover it anyways. I'm starting to believe there's a misconception about me and my female tastes, mainly that I have some sort of ethnic fetish (for lack of a better word). So I'd thought I'd dispel that right now. I do not find Lucy Liu very attractive. There, I hope that clears it all up for you.

Alright, so maybe we'll go into more specifics. So it's true that my 2 serious relationships have been interracial, but I also don't think anyone would argue that both have been two of the nicest people, and both were/are beautiful. But just how some people prefer blondes, I have very distinct ideas of what is beautiful for many different ethnicities. And I would never be able to put it into words so lets have pictures do all the work.

I hate Paris Hilton - these two not hot. They make my skin crawl. They are the kind of people who I wish Darwinism would have weeded out long ago. Britney Spears Circa 2000 - Hot. Ahh, the good old days.

Kristin Kruek - Way Hot. Its true, I'd watch anything she was in just because she was in it. Lucy Liu - Don't really care. I prefer big Disney eyes. Like Kristin (or my girlfriend of course).

Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider - not hot. Her lips freak me out, I don't understand the draw. I'm mean, its not as bad as Stephen Tyler, but still... Jessica Alba in Sin City - Hot.

This girl from the movie we watched last night - Hot. Uma Therman from movie last night... eh. She's definitely better looking than Quentin.

Jennifer Love Hewitt I always thought was kinda rat-faced.... pointy head and such, Lindsay Lohan I never cared for and she now looks worse than ever, and Michelle Rodriguez scares me.

So yeah, that a summary of my views of today's pop sex symbols. Anyone else got any sex symbols that you just don't understand? Ones where you just don't see what the fuss is all about?

Interracial Fun!!!

So I found this awesome link on the internet, where if you have a good head shot of yourself you can do some crazy things: The Face Transmorpher. So the way I figure it, this goes against my theory of interracial kids being the most beautiful... 'cause if that's what Ro and I's kid would look like... ugh...

Also, here's a Hilarious video clip. The trick of it is, which Scott and I were discussing earlier, I don't think people will go to it if I just link it, but I don't want to say anything about it 'cause I might ruin it. So here's a funny skit that has to do with our topic of the day: Funny Clip.

As far as job updates, I went and spoke with the floor manager of Best Buy yesterday. Looks like I might get a part time job working there. Its my understanding that their part time help often works 45 hours a week... lets face it, I need the cash. And I could get discounts! So you now all may offically have an "in" at Best Buy.

But yeah, that's all the craziness for now. Untill next time!
P.S. I've got some pictures up on the Eurolog. Posting next chapter of that today.

The Sound of Slowpitch

Let's see, what have I been up to lately? Well, I donated blood at a blood bank. I've gone to the batting cages with Josh, Tim, Allyn and Scott. But most interestingly, I've been heckling things with Scott and Tim. I went to see Josh play in his Christian Slowpitch Softball League. We all had favorite players, like the guy wearing Chicago Bears Jersey with the sleeves ripped off - he was a bit confused as to which sport he was playing. Scott said he was merely demonstrating his second amendment rights. There was Mr. Cingular. He was just wearing a Cingular T-Shirt and he was tall and lanky like Tim, but he had a few good hits. Roid-rage has clearly leaked into the Christian Softball Circuit as well.

But none of these rivaled "Gary." I had said at the beginning, that I was really hoping to find the one ultra-competitive jerk on the Christian Softball League... and Gary was him. I was only sad that he didn't show his true colors until the very end of the match. Gary seemed to have no problem screaming at his own teammates for something that was hardly a big deal, and then proceed to screw up plays himself. It was when he yelled at Josh, he fully incurred the wrath of the peanut gallery. Gary became the new adjective:

"Man, that match got a bit gary at the end."
"Geeze, he really gary'ed that one."

We're gonna go back to Josh's future games for two reasons. One to support our friend again, but TWO, to see Gary. We're not sure if we're gonna be mean, or be REALLY REALLY nice to him. Probably gonna go with the nice route, 'cause it's got a bit more finesse. Everytime he messes something up, shout quite loudly:

"Its alright, you'll get it next time."
"Shake it off Gary, its ok."

Last night six of us saw a production of "The Sound of Music." We made a game of saying that all the nuns were Jedi, and the head nun was the wise old master. See, in this musical you can convince anyone of anything through song, so we just said that it was like the force. And the mean, snobby fiance was the Sith Lord. And when they refered to the Nazi soliders as "Storm Troopers" in the show, we all just about lost it. All in all, good experience however I want to go on record and say that catchy songs aside, The Sound of Music is a pretty poor musical. Anyways, that's all for now, I'll catch you later.

The Greatest Trick my job ever pulled...

...was to convice the world it didn't exist. And proof? Just that *poof* it's gone.

The Usual Suspects is a great movie. Getting a 7:30am phone call saying all the temps have been "let go" sucks. Well, I'm officially unemployed again, but I'm afraid I don't have the luxury of staying at home right now. So I've got to get on that job search and regain a source of income (Prostitution isn't as good here in Springfield as Jerseyville - the Pimps are pretty rough here too.) I did apply for jobs at Wells Fargo and I even made it to the interview stage on Monday, so we'll have to wait and see.

So yeah, that's about all I can say about that. I did everything I could, so I'm not going to dwell too much on it. Also I scared the ever-loving crap out of Scott when he came home from class. Its amazing how standing behind a door saying "Lost my job." in the most dejected voice and depressed face you can muster can instill fear in the unexpecting. It's actually a bit like those Japanese horror films. And Scott jumped and fell over. Good times were had by all.

On one last note. Scott and I were talking at the blood bank (yeah, we save lives) and we saw an Osama Video on the news. That man really needs to get some decent lighting and effects on that show. Like "OTV" in the Corner with a nice explosive intro and such. You'd figure he had the money for it, and one of those guys has to know something about that sort of thing.

Reason #483

Why my girlfriend is awesome...

She's a Gamer!

That's right, I've got 3 undeniable facts that illustrate my claim:

1. She wants me to get this Barbie game for her that she couldn't ever beat on regular Nintendo. She's obsessed. Apparently there was this one part that she just couldn't get past, and years later she's still not able to let it go.
2. She couldn't watch a racetrack, Greyhounds or Horses, she wouldn't be able to stop telling you how lame it was. Why? Because compared to Chocobos, Horses are lame. She can go on about how much she'd like to have her own Chocobo for hours. But what is a chocobo, you may ask. Well, its a creature from the Final Fantasy Series.
3. Which brings me to my final, and most devastating point. She's beaten Final Fantasy 7. You may not realize this, but that's quite an accomplishment. It takes no less than 40-50 hours of playtime for a person to beat a Final Fantasy Game. But it doesn't stop there. She's beaten 7, 8, 9 and 10. You do the math. That's a Heck of a lot of video gaming. This is for you Ro: Chocobo Racing Games.

So there you have it, she's a gamer, and she's adorable. And she's mine.
(do you hear that Tim?)