My Second Christmas item of note, is a little bit of career advise for all you out there. If you want to strike it rich, make a chirstmas CD. It doesn't matter if you can sing or have any trace of musical talent, if it's Christmas, it sells. There is some really, REALLY, bad Christmas music out there... some of my favorite examples are:
Blue Christmas by the king himself, Elvis
Wonderful Christmastime - Paul McCartney
Anything by Macy Gray
Feliz Navidad... I might recieve some flak for that one, but I hate that song.
Anyways, just trying to spread that Christmas Cheer to all, but enough of that crap. Here's your quote:
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
7 comments:
Mr. Rob said, that he hates that song Feliz Navidad its because I'm always singing that song around this time of year and I get on his nerves. He is not alone my mom feels the same way when I'm singing Feliz Navidad she hates that song too . If there is any singer that I don't care for is Macy Gray she is a terrible singer and most of her songs are horrible.
Discomama
I am proud to say that the quote for today just happens to be my brother and I's favorite quote of ALL TIME!! It's good ol' National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation!! God I love that movie!
Chevy Chase is pissed off Christmas Eve night because one shitty thing after another happening to him this Christmas season!
1. The turkey is so dry that it rips apart at the mear touch of it.
2. Snot got into the garbage which he strung all over the place and threw up a bone under the table.
3. His aunt and uncle's cat chews on the Christmas tree lights electricuting itself and burning up the chair.
4. His uncle lights his cigar, throwing his match away and setting the tree on fire.
5.He goes CRAZY, takes a chain saw and cuts down a tree outside, which come to find out later still has an aggressive squirrle in it which causes panic throughout the whole house!
6. He receives his Christmas bonus which was supposed to be a fat check to pay for the new inground swimming pool but instead he got a year's membership to the Jelly Of The Month Club!
Therefore, he makes that great historical speech!
Then of course Randy Quaid then goes out and gets him the Christmas present he had hoped for, his boss tied up with a big bow on his head!
Man that movie rocks!
Breyn =)
Man Breyn, YOU SUCK! This was the first quote I knew right away! DARN YOU!
Rob, great posts! I love Christmas too! Only two employees here (myself being one of them) actually like Christmas! I don't if there are any Christmas songs I don't like....but my husband hates the song Christmas Shoes.
K...that's all I got....except I LOVE the song Feliz Navidad...my son can sing the chorus to that song! He wishes everyone Merry Christmas and Feliz Navidad! It's ADORABLE!
Tabitha
Great quote, from possibly the greatest Vacation movie of all time. I laughed my ass off just reading that quote again. Reminds me of so many Christmases. Ahhh, memories.
But, Rob you left out the worst holiday song of all time "Last Christmas" by Wham. Which was somehow made even MORE gay by Jimmy Eat World. I know what you're thinking, I didn't think it was possible either. But download the piece of shit and see for yourself. It's a festering pile of adult contemporary diarrhea. Cher wouldn't consider doing it. THAT's how bad it is.
Congratulations on your ghetto/office Christmas ornaments, very Charlie Brown of you. Have fun when you scrap your current one for a balding one at the lot. Then dance around with your face straight up. - Scott
I'd like to add a few more "special treats" to the worst holiday hits ever. But first, I wholeheartedly second the nominations of "Feliz Navidad," "Christmas Shoes" (who the crunk wants to hear about some kid who thinks his mom's gonna die on Christmas?), and "Last Christmas." Sadly, as a Christmas addict, I know the words to all of them.
I nominate "The Little Drummer Boy," sheerly because I don't think "pa rum pum pum pum" should count as lyrics. This song has actually been banned in the DePauw household (at Mom's insistance). I also hold up for ridicule Rosie O'Donnell and Smash Mouth's version of "I'm Gettin' Nuthin' for Christmas." If it weren't for that one cool chord (those of you who are musically inclined know what I'm talking about), it would never have been produced. And finally, the mother of all rotten Christmas albums: the KEZK holiday favorites. Does anyone else have family members who think it's awesome to buy CDs of popular radio DJs "singing" Christmas songs? It would be understandable if said DJs could, say, carry a Christmas tune in a bucket, but sadly for them (and for us!) they can't. It would take a Christmas miracle to make this CD worth listening to.
Lisa
And Rob is still getting into the Christmas Spirit! I hear daily of all the songs he "hates" whether it is on the radio or in the stores or someone humming.... I on the other hand like all the Christmas songs and have them on non stop 24/7 in the upstairs bathroom... so if anytime of the day or night you may hear one of the songs on Rob's hit list..... For the quote: I just watch it 3 nights ago and it is still in the DVD player, if I had only logged on sooner, mostly I just visit here and read all the post, they are very entertaining... Keep humming Mom
Wow... I was just reading the comments and then hitting the sack. I couldn't think of Wham's wonderful contribution to the Holiday season, however... When I went to the bathroom to wash up - it was playing on that little forsaken 24/7 christmas box on the counter. So yes, now that I know what you're talking about, that song is definatly on the list, but after Blue Christmas.
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