Alright, lets make one thing clear... I am NOT accident prone. It's this simple: My two favorite activities are Rock Climbing and Taekwondo. One, you are on jagged rocks X feet off the ground and trying to see how long you can hang on before you enivitably fall off. And the other, the idea is to kick each other... A lot of kicking each other. So just because I am injured every now and then, does not mean I am accident prone. It's just that if there are "accidents" in either of my two hobbies, they tend to be on the more painful side of the "accident" scale.
So for those of you who don't know it, I've hurt myself again in Taekwondo. Me and Alfredo (a mexican guy with like 50 pounds and 2 belt ranks) were sparring and knocked shins (by knocked I mean we were trying to put eachother on respective asses with a single kick to the midsection... but our shins connected halfway. Anyways long story short, I've had a few days of muscle spazims, my foot is turning black and it hurts like hell (although I think it's getting better). Is it all worth it? Hell yeah it is. Do you think I keep this awesome figure by sitting around playing video games all day??? Not only that, but things are going quite well in Taekwon do. I've been in it for 2-3 months so far, and I'm testing for my Orange Belt on Saturday (White, Yellow, Orange, Green, Purple, Blue, Brown, Red, Black). I mean I get to break boards with my hands and feet, and use a blade! So yeah, don't mess with me. I'll end you.
Sorry for the late post, I just wasn't at my desk at all today - in the new mail room you know....
Here's a quote for you... Something a little different:
"Howdy Ho, Ranger Joe!"
And what I want to know from all of you: I want to hear some recremendations on some totally awesome, BAD movies... you know what I'm talking about, and no MST3K allowed - I want some stand alone flicks (and if you don't know what MST3K is... you probably wouldn't get it anyways). Evil Dead/Army of Darkness is a given, I want to hear some new ones. My personal recremendation is Dead Alive, Peter Jackson's "Goriest Movie of All Time!" And the thing that sparked all of this is something that Trevor pointed out to me (you know that semi-old commercial about the guy that is surfing online until he reached The End of the Internet... that's Trevor...) Anyways, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. You should bring that one up at seminary, Josh. The credits alone feature: Jesus Christ, Female Lead Athest, Worshiper, The Screaming Lesbian, The Cop, Lesbian Vampire, Father Avellino, Blind Jimmy Leper, The Transvestite... Need I go on? I'm gonna rent it, that's for damn sure.
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Ok..so the quote is from Full House. Joey Gladstone took over the Ranger Roy children's television show.
Ok as far as a totally awesome bad movie I would have to say Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure! Terrible movie but still a good 80s classic! Sweet Keanu before he bacame the hot Neo of the matrix.
Breyn
p.s. I would just like to say how much I absolutely HATE the Army of Darkness, terrible terrible movie. Someone I used to date thinks it is the greatest movie of all time, and therefore ive seen it one too many times in my life!
"seen it one too many times in my life!"
--- Not possible.
You're just jealous 'cause Steve's cooler than you'll ever be!!!
FULL HOUSE!? I LOVED that show. Why'd you have to go and pick something so obscure? I actually watched Full House and couldn't even get this quote. I am so sad right now. I'm crying on the inside right now.
~Ro
Yes omnipotent Rob, you hit the head on the nail. I am so totally jealous of Steve cuz he is in fact WAY cooler then myself. I mean come on...you gotta be cool to love the Army of Darkness and have Ash as your hero. Who wouldn't want to have a chainsaw in replace of a limb and carry a huge "boom stick". I mean, totally, that would be a dream come true!
As Wayne Campbell would say.....NOT!
~Breyn =)
Speaking of certain people being waaaay cooler than other people what was the deal with Joey Gladstone? This guy just always pissed me off, then I saw ta list his elsewhere on the net, and agreed with it wholeheartedly. So without further ado are the top 10 reasons to hate Joey Gladstone.
1. He thinks that doing impressions of cartoon characters is funny, but it's not Somebody needs to tell Joey Gladstone that randomly doing cartoon voices is not funny. Yes it is quite impressive that he can successfully imitate every cartoon ever made, however it also shows what a pathetic sad life he must live that he has time to perfect all those voices. Also he never does the voices at an appropriate time. For example, I recall an incident in which Joey was dressed like Santa Clause and was talking like Daffy Duck. That doesn’t make any sense. What a retard.
2. Despite living rent free and never having to buy food he is always brokeThis is so pathetic that it doesn’t even make sense. Joey Gladstone, as we all know, lives in the home of his best friend, Danny Tanner. Danny pays all the bills for the house and buys all the groceries. So Joey never pays for anything, so even though his career is less the blockbuster he isn't required to spend the money on anything. However, he never buys anything nice, unless you count that fucking woodchuck puppet. God I hate that thing, the only joke it ever does is that thing it does where it asks if something is made out of wood. That’s not even a fucking joke. Stop buying the Scooby Doo pajamas and buy a fucking suit.
3. He hangs out with Uncle Jesse all day yet never figured out how to be coolUncle Jesse is the coolest man alive, and for some strange reason he considers Joey a friend, despite the fact that he is so cool that he could be friends with anybody on earth, even the very cool Mitch Hedberg. For some reason though, Uncle Jesse has instead decided to be friends with the biggest loser in the world. You would think some of this coolness would rub off on Joey. I mean Danny got cooler the more time he spent with Uncle Jesse. He went from being a lame sports broadcaster/widower to being a host on a show where he works with Uncle Jesse’s wife. That’s almost as cool as working with Uncle Jesse. Joey, on the other hand, gets lamer as time goes on, because he starts wearing a beret, and it’s impossible to be cool while wearing a beret.
4. He never has a meaning full romantic relationshipName one girlfriend Joey has had for more then one episode. You can't—it's impossible. That’s because it only takes one date with Joey for a women to figure out that he is lame. Hell, most women can figure out how lame he is before they even talk to him.
5. He never has had steady jobJoey has had many jobs in his career: comedian, children’s television show host, advertising age, radio personality, male prostitute, and he has been either fired or a complete failure in every field. The only careers that he has even been remotely successful in are the ones in which he was partners with Uncle Jesse, and I think we all know who was the partner that did all the work and who was the partner that got coffee for Uncle Jesse.
6. There is a good chance he is a child molester.Let's look at the facts. He is a grown man, who lives his life like a child. He rarely dates, and he has very few friends. That is the perfect profile for a child molester. Now add into the mix the fact that he lives with three young girls who trust him. Somebody in that house was molested by Joey Gladstone. Probably Stephanie, she was always a little spitfire, plus in one episode he offered to take her to a drive-in theater. If that isn't setting up the perfect situation for some groping and fondling, then I don’t know what is.
7. He lives in the basementCool people don't live in the basement. They live in an apartment in the attic. Just look at Uncle Jesse and the Fonz. It’s not coincidence that they both live in attics; awesome people like to live as high up as possible. Meanwhile the scums of the earth live in the basement, like animals, really lame animals.
8. He tried to seduce Uncle JesseThere is an incident in which Michelle needs a bath. This is way back in the beginning when she was still a baby. Joey and Uncle Jesse were supposed to give her the bath. Yet somehow Joey was able to convince Uncle Jesse that the two of them should be in the bathtub instead of Michelle. Then he convinced Uncle Jesse to start singing Elvis songs to him. I’m not sure why Uncle Jesse was going along with this horribly gay situation, he must have been drunk, or on drugs or something, but I shudder to think what may have happened if Danny hadn’t entered the bathroom when he did.
9. He Hates Black People.Racism isn’t cool, and its fact, not fiction, that Joey Gladstone is a card carrying member of the KKK. In Alabama he goes by the name Grand Wizard Gladstone and often takes part in cross burnings and KKK bake sales.
10. That damn thing he does with his handYou know what I'm talking about: that thing where he goes "Cut it out" and makes a cutting motion, then uses his hand to emphasize the word "it", then puts up his thumb and motions out as if he were an umpire. That thing isn’t cool. Why does he do it, is it so that deaf people will be aware that there is something he wants "cut it"?
Bonus ReasonNo one actually wears Hawaiian shirts. I mean, they exist, but only for those people who are both walking cliches and terrbile dressers. Come on, give me a fucking break. This relates directly to #2.
- Scott.
Sorry for the profanity, but it was nessary.
Scott- Thanks for that great list! I agree whole heartedly with you, Joey was a freakshow!
Uncle Jesse was totally cool and hot! I mean what girl didn't have a crush on Uncle Jesse at the age of 12!
My only complaint with Uncle Jesse is that he always wore this funky bright white tennis shoes! What's up with that?!? I mean he's got the good looks, the awesome hair, the cool strut, the great leather jacket but then these funky tennis shoes. Were they orthopedic? Did he have foot problems? Surely you would think he could of found some insoles to put in his boots that he wore every now and again.
Breyn
Yeah, Good Connection. Wasn't that list on Collegehumor.com just a couple days ago? Maybe that's why I was subconciously thinking about it lately. I forgot about that list.
No comment on Full House....it was one of my favorite shows growing up and I believe calling Uncle Joey a child molestor is a bit of a stretch, but he was a dork.
As for Army of Darkness...WORST MOVIE EVER! OK, worst three movies ever! Same horrible movie, just three slightly different twists. My best friend Steve and my husband Phillip can probably quote the whole movie. I refuse to let my son watch it. TOTAL TRASH! HORRIBLE MOVIE!
Rumor has it though that they will be remaking the movie. Just what I've heard from the Twisted Toyfare Theatre news that my husband reads.....
Also heard that a new Fantastic Four movie is coming out staring my favorite Actress Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman and that guy from the Shield as Ben "The Thing" Grim.
80's movie that was bad, but good every Superman movie after the first one! I mean, Superman Five....too many!
Tabitha
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