Tim A. Beiser

After yesterday's post, my co-worker Tim approached me with his "insight." More or less, his opinion was "Your post sucked for today." When I say more or less, I mean that's exactly it. Am I mad? Am I angry that this person can try and pass off so much judgment when he has no idea what its like trying to be interesting every day? No, a lesser man would be mad. Not I. I decided to get to the root of the problem. No, the root of the problem is not my posting ability, but instead young Timothy's own mental dysfunctions that prohibit his appreciation of my blog. And what I found out, is to under stand, you have to go all the way back to the beginning...

The Story of Tim

You've heard stories of children being lost at young ages and being raised by wolves... this is not one of those. It was a clear night in Eatontown, NJ where Richard and Diane Bundy were enjoying themselves at the seasonal festival. They had ridden all the rides and eaten their fill of saltwater taffy and funnel cakes, and were now pursuing the fun and games section of the carnival. Now Diane had her eyes on the oversized Tweety Bird that could be won by tossing the rings over the bottles. Now what you may not have known about this story is that both people suffered, separately, from rare, different, genetic, mental disorders. Richard, or "Dickies" as his friends called him (from the brand of overalls he always wore) couldn't quiet grasp the concept and went through $48 throwing the rings at the bottles (breaking 3) and not understanding why the nice man with the hook arm wouldn't give him the Tweety Bird. This saddened Diane, and she fell to the ground crying. But then Dickies got an idea. He decided to barter with the carnie. It was the Ring Toss Pirate's understanding that Dickies was going to give him a Timex Watch in exchange for the Bird. And since Tweety was made by sweat shop children and cost him very little, he figured a watch would fetch a better price than the stuffed animal and agreed to the conditions. Dickies ran back to his car and fetched Timex to trade. To the great surprise of the carnie, "Timex" was not a watch at all... but the sad, mentally challenged couples child. Apparently they had named this poor, ill-fated child (with an unusually large head) "Timex" after the father's watch. The Carnie, seeing a rare opportunity, agreed to thier terms nonetheless and accepted Timex as one of his own (if by one of his own, you mean clothed in a potato sack, beaten regularly with a sock full of jollyranchers, and made to sleep in the man's rusty pickup truck.) The man did however realize the ridiculousness of the child's name, and shorten it... to Tim. And that's this man, John Beiser, became Timex's new loving father. And this is where Tim spent the majority of his childhood, until the age of 14 when...

To Be Continued...

So there you go, tune in tomorrow for more of "The Story of Tim"

By the way, the correct answer was Earth Angel... way to go PJ. And welcome to my website! What you didn't know was the rules of the game, so I'll inform you now. Since you won the trivia, it's your turn to post a new 80's movie/tv trivia question. The only rules are, googling is not allowed. Goodnight all!



P.S. Did I know I went too far? Yes. Of course I did. But the bastard said my post sucked.